Operation ReClaim Our Bed: SUCCESSFUL

ORCOB Part 1

ORCOB Part 2

To the people who told me 'you'll never get her out of your bed'
To the people who told me 'time to toughen up'
To the people who told me 'you'll regret starting bad habits'

...this post is respectfully dedicated to you.

Here is the current set up of Chubs' bed.

The only change from the last update is that we slipped a pool noodle under the fitted sheet to make it harder for her to roll out on that side. It's not perfect and she has rolled onto the trundle, but it helps. If we didn't have the trundle we would get another bed rail or rearrange the bed against a wall.

This picture also shows the trundle with its legs folded away, which is how we use it pretty much every night.

I am officialy declaring ORCOB successful. After the first few weeks of me sleeping in with her most of the time, Chubs is now mostly happy to be by herself all night long. She sleeps through most (not all) nights. If I do need to go in, I give her a cuddle and a pat and give her back her dummy. If this isn't enough to get her back to sleep then I lie with her for a short, quick feed full of sleepy hormones for both of us. A few times I've fallen asleep in her bed for a little while, generally I'm only in there for about two minutes then I go back to our bed. When she does wake I'm out of bed for less that five minutes then back to bed - about the same as getting up to pee or get a glass of water.

Weeks before her second birthday, she is happily sleeping (mostly) alone in her own room. At this stage I expect that night feeds will gradually fade away, as did her need for constant closeness all.night.long.

My husband and I have our bed 'back' - as much as any parents of a young child do. She toddles in in the mornings, blankie trailing behind her and teddy under her arm. She comes up to me and with a dummy in her mouth and about three more in her hands (just in case, sigh...) she gives me the most precious, sweetest smile and says 'Mummy milk peease Mummy' and gives me a kiss. I drag my exhausted body into the arena of the awoken, pull her up onto our bed and have milky snuggles for a few minutes. 'Other side?' is then followed by 'outside?' and we're all up and off - ready to face the day of cereal and toilet training and colouring in and Peppa Pig.

We were certainly keen to have Chubs in her own room earlier, but after a while it became clear that she wasn't ready, and that all our plan was achieving was less sleep for everyone. So we waited a few months, though again about the needs of all three people in our family, came up with a new loving and respectful plan, and gently tried it out. In the space of less than a month Chubs gently transitioned into usually sleeping though usually all by herself. No crying, no screaming, no disasters.

Now, this won't work for every family. Heck, it didn't work for our family a few months ago. But what did work was doing what worked for us, now, at this point, with what we had, valuing what was important to us.

To the people who told me 'do whatever you need to do so you all get the sleep you need'
To the people who showed me the data and science that shows that safe cosleeping is indeed very safe
To the people who taught me about milk production, supply and demand, breast compressions, feeding lying down and sleepy hormones
To the people who listened to my whinging about capital-H-ing, waking up with a foot in my face and a dummy in my ear or getting kicked out to the couch who understood that I was venting about a good approach that may not have been perfect
To the people who asked me 'in the end, does it really matter?'

and to the two people I love most in the world, with whom I share my love, my body, my home, my hopes, my dreams, my heart - and sometimes my bed,

...this post is also for you.

 

ORCOB #2

If you missed it, here is Operation ReClaim Our Bed Part 1

After a couple of weeks the bed (with trundle) was delivered. I'm getting very handy with an allen key these days, I can assure you.

Assembling the trundle (legs set up)

There was another suprise - the trundle has legs! I had no idea that the trundle has fold away legs. The castors are on the side of spring loaded folding legs, so you can use it either as a conventional trundle, or simple lift the ends up to fold the legs out to have a full sized, normal height single bed. There was nothing in the online description about this, and when we looked in store it never occured to me that there might be hidden folding legs.

Beds set up

The bed and the trundle would have been the same height, but we bought a slightly thinner mattress for the trundle so there would be plenty of space for bedding (so we could roll it away made up.)

We put a bed rail (the one which used to be on our bed) on the side of the bed near Chubs' drawers, and of course the trundle on the other.

We spent a few more nights like this (usually with the trundle low). I would feed Chubs to sleep on her bed, then leave her. At first wake up I would go in and feed her/ pat her/ put the dummy in/ cuddle or whatever she needed. She was still rolling around a lot and we had to do lots of padding around the trundle. Some nights I would stay in with her; a few times I ended up in her bed and she was on the trundle. Other nights she was happy for a feed or a cuddle, and then I went back to our bed.

I still need to get a clock for the room so I know what time it is (I hate not knowing), and I need to remember to take my phone with me when I go in (since I use it as my alarm). I haven't been able to fins a night like that will suit but we've moved the lamp that is in there so it's not so bright.

Update #3 here

 

Operation ReClaim Our Bed

Some of you may remember a few months ago when we tried to get Chubs sleeping in her cot more. I'm a huge huge fan of cosleeping, and I'm sure that we all get much more sleep that way. It's looked different for us at different stages, but it was getting to the stage where Chubs was just getting too big. Through Operation Sleep Rule Change we tried to gently transition Chubs into her cot more. However, after a little while it was apparent that the plan wasn't working and she just wasn't ready. I wasn't prepared to make the smallest, youngest and most vulnerable member of our family carry the biggest burden of 'making sleep work' for the whole family, so we abandoned the plan.

We went back to what we were doing - usual bedtime routine finishing with Chubs feeding to sleep on our bed. I would then transfer her to her cot where she slept happily until she work anywhere between 11pm and 4am. She would then come into our bed for a quick feed and cuddles and we all went back to sleep. Sometimes she took up too much room and Dear Husband or I relocated somewhere else for a few hours or the rest of the night. In our minds musical beds is much much much better than sleep deprivation.

Six or seven months passed, and (as they always do) things changed. Chubs is getting bigger and older. Her language skills have developed dramatically, so we can explain things more than we could in the past. She is also getting physically bigger and can easily take up a queen sized bed if she wants to -sigh. We always intended to buy her a bedroom suite when she turned two so we just moved that forward a little bit.

We intentionally bought her a trundle bed, firstly to facilitate more comfortable sleep sharing and secondly because we don't have a guest bedroom. So, we ordered the furniture, packed away the cot and got her new room ready.

Two new mattresses (bed and trundle)
New drawers and new bedside table (covered with white doona)

A fortunate complication occured. The bed was on back order, so while the mattresses and drawers were delivered in a few days, we had to wait a few weeks for the bed. This means that Chubs' room was set up like above for the first few weeks.

During this time, she fed to sleep on her mattress. Later on I joined her on the trundle mattress. Everyone was very happy with this arrangment. She certainly tried testing the new situation to see what the rules were - she would get up and walk out of the room at bed time, but after being directed back in she eventually learned that that endeavour was not going to be successful.

Whilst I did miss sharing a bed with Dear Husband for these few weeks, it's a good reminder that I like to share a bed with someone else for comfort, too. I'm a fully grown adult, who understands object permanence, who is well adjusted and emotionally secure (apparently) and who know how to ask for help. And I still LIKE to share a bed. If our family needed to split up its sleeping, I think that it is fairer to separate the adults for a time, rather than to force a toddler to endure loneliness while Dear Husband and I get to snuggle up all night long.

The first few night were a bit disrupted. Even though it was the same room that Chubs had slept in since the night she came home from hospital, it does look different with the new furniture. The night light was too bright for me and I didn't sleep well, and she rolled around and around and around! She rolled off the mattress a few times onto the floor, and so we covered the bedside table with a fluffy doona to make it softer until the new bed arrived. It is a big change for her, and I'm happy to sleep with her to help her through it.

I certainly was MUCH MUCH MUCH more comfortable on the floor with my own mattress all to myself, rather than in the big bed with her capital-H-ing us in the back. As much as I miss Dear Husband at night, we are all getting a lot more sleep and Dear Husband and I are much more comfortable.

ORCOB Part 2
ORCOB Part 3

 

Cosleeping in the child's room

When talking about our adventures in cosleeping, the need for a different plan and ultimately going back to what we were doing in the first place, Becca commented that they had the family bed in the baby's room, rather than bring the baby into the master bed. I'd never thought of this before, but it seems like it could be a great solution. It wouldn't work for our family and the layout of our house, but it seems like a great option!

Our current approach hasn't changed much since our last update. Chubs feeds to sleep on our bed, then gets moved to her cot until first wake up, which could be anywhere between 11pm and 4am. She then comes in with us, and if she is taking up too much room the Dear Husband or I relocates (usually to the couch) for a few hours. Having tried it the other way, I'm certain that we all get more sleep this way. Yes, it's disrupted sleep - but my sleep has been disrupted for the last 20 months, and I'd rather be sleeping on the couch than standing awake over Chubs' cot patting her while she desperately asks to come into the big bed.

For her second birthday in a few months we are getting her a big girl bed, with a trundle. Perhaps she will be happy with one of us sleeping next to her on the trundle if needed. Even if she still wants/ needs the closeness of the big bed, a single bed in her room will allow whichever one of us who is bed-angel-ed out of the big bed to have somewhere comfy to sleep!

Linked

Packing tip for baby

We cosleep a lot of the time, but have always taken the portacot away with us as well. We do this firstly because she spends the first part of the night in the cot, and secondly because it is good to have a safe contained space in case of a broken glass, a spill or a time out.

Whenever we have flown the portacot has been free luggage (along with the car seat and stroller and carry on nappy bag) which is good because a lap child does not have any luggage allowance of her own for clothes and other gear.

Solution: shove as many clothes as you can into the portacot. On our last trip away I was able to fit all of this into space in the portacot.

There is here:

- 7 cloth nappies
- 7 cloth nappy inserts
- 3 dresses
- set of portacot sheets
- 20 disposable nappies
- 2 maxi dresses of mine

As you can see, this is another bag (or overflowing beer carton box) of space which it would have taken up had it not been packed in the portacot.

Linked

Operation Sleep Rule Change - abandoned

Operation Sleep Rule Change was about getting some more space in our bed in a gentle, respectful way. If you missed the first post, it's here. In summary, we were aiming to get Chubs to sleep in her cot until 3am, and then to come into out bed. Sometimes she does this on her own - the last few nights she's slept in her cot until 4:30am, but it's certainly not consistent.

It was working for a while, however things started to fall apart. Chubs was sick a lot, Dear Husband was away so I was flying solo and Chubs started waking more frequently and needing more settling. Over the Christmas break we had two trips away for over a week each which meant a break in routine.

Perhaps most importantly, the plan (that Dear Husband and I would get more sleep) wasn't working. In August I said: To be honest, Dear Husband and I aren't feeling as wonderfully well rested as I was hoping. As I supsected (but was dearly hoping I was wrong) I think at lot of our constant state of exhaustion is more to do with having a vibrant, beautiful, bouncy toddler than a cosleeping one. To resettle Chubs in the middle of the night when she is in our bed is much, much easier that getting up to feed/ cuddle/ rock her in the cot. I'm sure we all get much more sleep when she's in with us. Often Dear Husband and I don't know who brough her into bed with us or what time it was now that we aren't trying to change it.

The final straw for me was one night when she wouldn't settle in her cot. I felt so mean. I was trying to settle my young child in a cage in a room all on her own so that I could go into a separate room, and not only share that room with another loved one, but actually share a bed! Why should I, as a grown adult who knows all about object permanence and how to ask for help clearly, get to share a bed with someone I love and at the same time expect my baby to sleep on her own in a cot in a separate room? She clearly needs the comfort and closeness - this is normal toddler behaviour.

Yes, we still get a lot of diagonal starfishing and bed angels. There's nothing glamorous about waking up with one foot in your ear and the other in your back. The problems that caused us to seek Operations Sleep Rule Change still exist. However, it now seems that these things aren't going to be fixed by having me stand by Chubs' cot several times a night.

I don't regret bringing Chubs into bed with us when she was little and teaching her 'bad habits'. I don't regret feeding her to sleep, nor 'training' her to sleep through the night at weeks or months old. This is all normal behaviour. She's a happy, healthy, thriving little girl. She won't always be in bed with us, she won't always feed through the night, she won't always want cuddles during the night - well at least not from Mum and Dad anyway.

I've never heard anyone say "I wish that I had cuddled my child less when she was little". So, for the time being at least, we will continue to love, cuddle, feed, rock and sleep togetherin the big bed - just where everyone wants to be. Even if it is a bit crowded.

Cosleeping

I do love cosleeping, I really, really do. However, sometimes it's not all a bed of roses... or even a bed...

Operation Sleep Rule Change - Conclusion?

Well, here it is. A tentative conclusion to the sleep changes that we've been trying. I say tentative as I don't want to jinx it, but it seems that we have success!!!!!
Chubs will happily resettle in her cot at night now. She's actually done so since the first night. It was an hour and a half of patting and rocking and panicing (on my part) and her pointing at the door and wanting to get out, but I was there to comfort and hold her. We made it to midnight and she came into bed with us then, but she seemed to have gotten the message about the 'rule change', that Mummy and Daddy's bed wasn't 'open' until later.

We moved bringing her in to our bad back by an hour each week, but she resettled fairly easily each time and we probably could have stretched her out longer sooner.

This week should be 2am, but we're just going to jump to 3am and be done with it. Whenever she wakes before 3am it's resettle in the cot, after that it's in bed with us. We could keep going and make it 5am, but you know what, getting up in the night is hard work. Perhaps the best thing about cosleeping is that Chubs can get milk, comfort and reassurance and all I need to do is roll over.

To be honest, Dear Husband and I aren't feeling as wonderfully well rested as I was hoping. As I supsected (but was dearly hoping I was wrong) I think at lot of our constant state of exhaustion is more to do with having a vibrant, beautiful, bouncy toddler than a cosleeping one. It is a bit better to have the bed to ourselves for a few hours, but the catch is that I have to get up for the first feed at 10 or 11pm, and then to resettle as required.The 3am rule will be a nice mix I think - I'll have to get up for the first feed (and then pat as needed which hasn't been often - maybe once every three nights?). It means when she wakes up at 3am/4am/ 5am she can come in to our bed and have a feed. It means that I'm only getting up for one feed in her room, then in our bed from then on. I think it's a good mix between the pros and cons of cosleeping and cot sleeping.

So, ultimately, I think that OSRC was a success. Through gentle parent led methods we were able to get Chubs comfortable in her cot for longer at night, but still have time for family snuggles in the morning. That's about as perfect as I think it gets x

Operation Sleep Rule Change: update after week one

Well, one week in and things are going to plan. We've made it past midnight every night for the past week. The only night which was really hard was the first night and it wasn't too bad. I fed/patted/rocked Chubs constantly for almost an hour and a half but we got there in the end. The next six nights usually only took one resettle to get her back down until after midnight.

So for the next week, we will keep resettling her in her room until 1 o' clock. Feeding, patting, rocking- whatever we need to do, until she goes back to sleep in her cot, or until 1am comes. The aim is not to get her to sleep through, it's just to get our bed back for a few more hours. I don't regret bringing her in there at all, see my first post if you missed it.

Indeed, this last week has reminded me one of the reasons that I love cosleeping, it's so easy. Chubs wakes up, Dear Husband goes and gets her,  I roll over and unzip my top and were all back to sleep in minutes. Getting up to resettle her is a lot more effort!

 I'm in no rush to get her to sleep through the night, or to night wean.  Night waking is normal and healthy for children up to three to four years of age. As with most things, this is working for all of us so we will keep going until it's not, then we'll do something else.

So, Week Two, here we come!

Operation Sleep Rule Change update night five

Night five didn't get off to a great start. All three of us were sick, tired and grumpy. After two bites while feeding during the 'arsenic hour' I gave up. I put Chubs in the car and took her for a drive to get to sleep. I knew that bedtime was going to be a disaster, so I thought I would call it and take her f or a drive before there was more crying and stress and biting, when I probably would have taken her for a drive anyway. Generally I think it's better to make the decision early and save a tired, cranky sick baby (and mum and dad) from a stressful evening before things go too bad.

When we got in Chubs transferred to her cot ok but was soon stirring. She is sick and just want to be near us, so I put her on her fold out sofa on the living room floor with us where she slept happily for the evening. I gave her a feed joke she was asleep at 10, but she's never really fed well while sleeping, she just nods off and doesn't suck. We moved her in to the cot asleep. Dear Husband and I can't remember what time she came in, but it was quite late -about 3am or 4am. We're on a winner her I think!

Night six (Friday) and Chubs had daycare (Friday is my study day). She was shattered when she got in and we did a very quick bedtime routine so she was in bed early. Hopefully it will go well tonight!

Dear Husband and I talked about maybe moving it back to 2am for next week, but we decided just to stick by an hour a week, so it will be 1am next week. Hopefully we can keep moving it back.

Doing this is reminding me one of the reasons I'm a big fan of cosleeping in the first place -I get much more sleep when she's in bed with us. I guess it's about getting better quality sleep which is why we're doing this, but there is a lot to be said for parenting in one's sleep. If cosleeping is working for you, then keep going! If the only thing which is worrying you is forming 'bad habits' or what People think, then don't worry about it. Like I said when I first posted, if circumstances were different for us then there would be no need to change. If we had a spare bed we would probably play musical beds all night, and we wouldn't have a problem. I am glad that the changes seem to be working though, and Chubs seem to be coping with the new rules which is great.

As usual, I will keep you posted!

Operation Sleep Rule Change update: nights three and four

Night three went well. She was very tired after daycare and fell aleep in my arms at 7pm without story,  teeth etc. Chubs woke at about 10.30 and had a big feed. She wouldn't go down in ht cot but I got her back to sleep on her flip out sofa in her room. By the time I had cleaned my teeth and was ready for bed I moved her into her cot. Chubs slept there until 1:30 which was wonderful! She woke for a feed then and came in with us.

Night four she was also very tired after daycare and went to bed early, soon after seven o'clock. She stirred about 9pm since her ever present snotty nose has been keeping her up, but resettled with a feed and a back rub. I can't actually remember what time she came in, but it was definitely after midnight.

Operation Sleep Rule Change - update nights 1 and 2

Well, night one was long but it wasn't too bad. Chubs woke up fairly early at 10:15, so midnight was a long way away. She had a feed (but didn't really want it) but just kept pointing at the door, she wanted to get out. She woke up properly (which wasn't good) but we kept rocking and patting and feeding and cuddling. She was a little upset and grizzly at times, but there wan't any screaming thank goodness. She almost went back to sleeps few times, once in my arms (but then work on transfer), once in the cot but then she rolled over and hit her head on the side of the cot and woke herself up again. At 11:50 I conceded defeat and too her into bed with us - it was a case of near enough is good enough. She settled immediately and slept well for the rest of the night. I think she only had one more feed overnight, which makes me feel that she wasn't upset or anxious about the change (like when I'd tried to move her during the night.)

We made a few changes for night two. I moved her toys out of her room, since she saw them and wanted to play. We also moved her flip out sofa (usually in the living room) in, in the hope that she may be able to be persuaded to lie on that if she won't lie in her cot.

When night two came around, I panicked a bit when I heard stirrings at 10:30, but we were able to pat her back to sleep. The same thing at 11:15, with a back scratch and off again. Thankfully, she blisfully slumbered until 12:30 when she woke for a feed, but since it was past midnight Dear Husband brought her straight in and we had milky cuddles for the rest of the night.

So, two nights in and things are still on track. There's still a long way to go, but it hasn't derailed yet which is a good thing!

Operation Sleep Rule Change

We are going to start some sleep training at our house (and I use the term 'sleep training' very, very loosely). The current situation isn't really working for us at this point in time. We have been looking at ideas and strategies to change things a little bit, but haven't yet come across a plan that we were comfortable with or that we thought would work for Chubs. It seems that we now have a plan, so I will share with you all how it goes; perhaps it might be helpful for others.

What we have done in terms of sleep (where and when) has changes as Chubs has needed to since she was born. The current situation (and it has been this way for a few months) is to have dinner/ shower at 5:30 - 6:00 ish depending on when we get home from daycare. After shower and PJs we turn the big light off in the living room and play with toys, watch TV or video clips until 7:30. Chubs then brushes her teeth with Dear Husband then has three stories with me in the living room. After that it's goodnight cuddle for Daddy, then Chubs and I go to our bed and she feeds/ cuddles to sleep there. She's usually asleep by 8pm and then I move her to her cot where she happily sleeps until 10 or 11pm ish. If she wakes before then then I can usually resettle her in her cot. She also happily sleeps in her cot for day naps and in the cot at daycare. After the 10 or 11pm wake up, however, she comes into our bed. She has a small feed but mostly wants cuddles.

We don't mind having her in our bed in principle, and she's been in there for various parts of the day or night since she was a little baby. This has had numerous benefits for all three of us. Our bed is set up for safe cosleeping, so there are no safety worries. I also realise that baby waking for comfort and reassurance that Mum and Dad are still there is totally normal behaviour, and is a sign that she has a strong connection to her father and me - that is a good thing. I'm happy to provide that comfort and reassurance over night, I'm also happy to keep feeding her overnight since she still seems to want that. However, what isn't working is having her in our bed from 11pm on, since it is impossible for Dear Husband and I to get a good (or even a satisfactory) night's sleep.

Chubs usually ends up sleeping with her head next to mine and her feet next to Dear Husband's head. She's also a fan of bed angels, and the 'H is for Hell' position. Dear Husband has neck/ back issues at the best of times due to whiplash many years ago. I'm pretty flexible when is comes to sleeping positions but when I can't carry my school books during the day because my arms are so sore - and this happens repeatedly, then the situation isn't working.

I said above that the situations isn't working for us at this time in our circumstance. When Chubs was younger she was happy for me to transfer her back to the cot once she'd come into our bed for a bit, so this wan't a problem. When the tiny child had one adult balanced on the edge of the bed and the other curled up in a ball at the foot of the bed, then we would transfer her back to the cot for another few hours. That worked well. Some people play 'musical beds' during the night, and I think that would work for us, but we don't have a spare bed to go to. (Both Dear Husband and I tried the couch at various times, but the sleep there was worse than with an oh-so-cute chubby foot in the ear.) Some babies are happy to sleep in a cot next to the bed but since I did a lot of child proofing in the living room a lot of the nin child friendly furniture (my desk, some bookshelves etc) were moved into our bedroom (since Chubs isn't ever in there alone) so there isn't any room for a cot in there now,and my Mummy instinct tells me that Chubs wouldn't be happy with that, anyway.

Chubs is happy to sleep in her cot for day naps and until 11pm, so she knows it as a comfortable, safe place. It's just that in her head from 11pm or so on, the 'Rule' is that she's allowed into Mummy and Daddy's bed. I don't regret teaching her this by accident - bringing her into bed for that first feed when I was so tired (this only started at 8 months or so?) had many advantages for all of us. The problem is that this isn't working any more. What we would like to do is just to shift the 'Rules' as Chubs understands them to say that instead of staying in her cot until 10 or 11pm, she needs to stay there until 2 - 3am ish or ideally, 5 - 6 am ish.

Two nights ago I moved her back into her cot at about 2:30am to try and encourage her to be in the cot later, but she work up straight away and I had trouble getting her back to sleep. I brough her back to bed with us but she wouldn't properly go back to sleep for an hour and wanted to feed/ comfort suck for all of that time. She wouldn't let me slip the dummy in, she only wanted me. This tells me that she was upset and uncomfortable about me changing the rules - why was I putting her in the cot at 2:30, whcih was clearly in the 'Mummy and Daddy's bed' timeslot? I must admit that I was worried here - if that left her anxious for one hour, then how will we ever get her in the cot for a few more hours?

I didn't want to do anything that would make her feel anxious, or that she's wasn't cared for. I want her to know that when she wants a cuddle, that I will be there. It's normal for children to need comfort and reassurance during the night until about three or four years of age. I'm very aware that she will grow out of this, sooner or later. She won't always want to sleep in our bed, and there will be plenty of time for Dear Husband and me to catch up when she's a teenager. (Although, a dear friend of mine is often called by her adult daughter in the wee hours to drive in and pick her up when she finishes her restaurant job in the city, so manybe I'm hoping in vain...)

However, there are three people in this bed, and two of us aren't happy. I think that it is reasonable to expect a toddler to sleep a few more hours in her cot, in which she is already comfortable, when her loving mother and father are in the next room and will come in to resettle and/or breastfeed as required. I think that this is a resonable expectation and I wanted to find a technique which was respectful of Chubs' needs to help her to 'reset' the Rules so that Mummy and Daddy's bed isn't 'open' until a few hours later.

I struggled to find a suggestion that might work. I was cautious to only ask for advice from people and places who I knew would be supportive of our 'frame of reference'for sleep. I didn't want to be told to put her on a strict routine dictated by someone who had never met her. I didn't want to be told off for cosleeping and forming 'bad habits'. None the less, it took me a while to find a suggestion which would actually be do-able for our circumstances. I did find lots of 'no idea, but we're in the same situation, so let me know what happens' comments though! I did put a comment on Pinky McKay's Facebook page which she very kindly reposted on her status, and I was overwhelmed with support, reassurance and possible strategies we could try. Thanks to all who commented, I really do appreciate it!

So, now we have a plan. We are going to try and 'reset' the sleeping rules in a gentle, workable and respectful way. Most of the sleeping procedures and changes that we have done to date have definately been on the 'baby led' end of the spectrum, this is the first time we've done anything on the 'parent led' end. The plan - Operation Change Sleep Rules - begins tonight.

The plan is to hold off moving Chubs into our bed for an hour at a time. So, for this week, Chubs won't be coming into our bed before midnight. If (or more likely when) she wakes before that we will try to resettle her, pat, rock, feed and do whatever we need to do, but it will be in her room. We will keep doing this until she falls asleep in her cot, or until midnight comes. If she's still awake at midnight then she can come in with us. Once she's learned that she can't come in until midnight (I'm hoping that this will take a week or so but it may take longer) then we'll do the same thing to move back the time to 1am, then 2am etc. Depending on how it goes we might keep pushing it back to 5 or 6 am, or we might leave it at 3am.

Of course, there's a million reasons why this might not work. Chubs might not like it at all, she might get sick, we might get too exhausted. However, this is the best plan that seems the most workable that we've come up with. I have confidence that it at least has a reasonable chance of working.

And so, I will keep you posted. It sounds like lots of people are in the same boat, so perhaps you can blog along too? Of course every baby is different and will respond differently, but I'm really hoping that this will work for Chubs.