Monday, 6 February 2012

Dear Facebook: Breastfeeding is not obscene



Tomorrow will be a big day at the Facebook office in Sydney. Breastfeeding mothers are planning on having a 'nurse in' to protest against the way in which breastfeeding photos are continually treated as obscene by Facebook, and photos are removed and accounts have been locked in response to this. Whilst Facebook officially says that they have no issue with breastfeeding photos, time and time again this has been shown to not be what actually occurs. (More on their policy below.) For more information see here. This event is also occuring at other Facebook offices around the globe.

Breastfeeding is a normal part of life, and should therefore be shared with one's social network. Indeed, a woman's right to breastfeed (in public or anywhere) is protected under Australian law. It is therefore perfectly reasonable and healthy to post photos of breastfeeding on one's Facebook page.

There are some who would disagree with my statements with the following arguments which I will address in turn.

"Going to the toilet is natural too, that doesn't mean you should post photos of that"
I would like to preface this by saying that anyone who doesn't know the difference between having a meal and defecating is not welcome in my kitchen. This implies that a baby feeding is dirty, unsanitary and should be behind closed doors. Firstly, this is not the case - a woman has the right to feed her child wherever she and her child are allowed to be. Secondly, following this logic, then all eating by people of all ages, breathing and moving are not fit for public display, because they are natural too. This is absurd.

Exposed breast while feeding a child = porn
The idea that a breast, and therefore breastfeeding, is sexual is an idea which is firmly intrenched in society. Do you recall the media fuss when photos of Miranda Kerr breastfeeding were released? Some was negative, a lot was positive, but consider the fuss which is made of normal bikini modelling photos of Kerr. That's right, not a blip.

Body parts can have multiple roles. Yes, breasts have a sexual role. A woman's hands, lips and tongue also have sexual roles. If breasts need to be covered in public because they are sexual, then all women (and men for that matter) should be wearing gloves whenever they leave the house. Many people in Western countries find the idea that a woman is required to cover her face very oppressive and offensive. Following the breast = porn logic, then everyone should be wearing veils as well as gloves.

"I'm all for public breastfeeding, as long as it's discreet"
This is one that really gets my goat. Firstly, let's define 'discreet'. If by 'discreet', you mean 'put a blankie over your shoulder, your baby and your breast' then I would like to suggest that you may be unaware of how to breastfeed. The most probable time for a 'nip slip' is when the child is attaching, which is also the least practical time to cover up. Most mothers, especially in the newborn months, need to see their baby's mouth and their breast as well as using about ten hands to get the baby to attach properly. This is practically impossible to do under a blanket or nursing cover. In addition, some (many?) children are quite uncomfortable feeding under a blanket and will simply rip the blanket off, or scream (and not feed) until it is removed.

If by 'discreet' you mean 'invisible' then I would counter that again breastfeeding should not be invisible. Again, it is the normal way to feed babies and should be seen as much as any other normal activity like greeting a friend, colouring in, playing in the sandpit or going for a swim at the beach. In addition, feeding with a blanket or a nursing cover usually only serves to draw attention to the fact that one is breastfeeding. I have breastfed during professional development sessions, staff meetings, meals with friends and family and many other occasions when people around me were totally unaware of Chubs' feeding, and on none of those occasions did I use a nursing cover.

Secondly, breastfeeding should not be discrete any more than any other activity. Many babies are more comfortable feeding in a quiet room, or under a blanket to protect from distractions. Some mothers choose the privacy of a nursing cover or a feeding room. (Indeed, there have been times when I have moved to a different room to feed when I felt that was the best thing to do in the circumstances. I also tried to feed Chubs under a blanket when the 'distracted stage' set in at about five months.) Some people prefer to take phone calls in private, some people don't like to talk about their financial matters in front of others. In each of these examples and countless others, the choice for privacy is just that - a choice - not a dictated rule.

"Ugh, I don't want to see that"
Some people will argue that the appropriateness of breastfeeding in public is merely a difference of opinion. This is not the view that federal law takes. A woman's right to breastfeed her child anywhere that she or her child are allowed to be is protected under the Sexual Discrimination Act of 1984. Recent ammendments also specifically including expressing breastmilk under the Act. (Expressing was never excluded, but is now specifically addressed.) To ask a woman to stop breastfeeding, to ask her to move on or to refuse her service because she is breastfeeding is unlawful and sexual discrimination. I believe anyone who thinks that it is ok to do any of these things should say exactly what that believe - that sexual discrimination and illegal behaviour is acceptable to them.

Further words on Facebook's breastfeeding policy.

Firstly, as said above, the big issue is that Facebook employees appear to be acting outside this policy.

Secondly, in response to
Photos that show a fully exposed breast where the child is not actively engaged in nursing do violate Facebook's Statement of Rights and Responsibilities
I would certainly be interested to see how Facebook, and the Human Rights and Equal Opportunities Commission, would define 'not actively engaged in nursing'. I would wager that the person who wrote this policy has little understanding of how nursing works, especially with older babies and children.

Thirdly, in response to
It is important to note that photos which we act upon are almost exclusively brought to our attention by other users who complain about them being shared on Facebook.
Other people can make complaints which are racist, sexist, inflammatory or just plain wrong - that does not excuse Facebook from acting decently. Indeed, is that not why the reporting mechanism exists, so that Facebook can assess the validity of a complaint before acting (or not acting) on it?

Breastfeeding is a normal part of life. Social networking is about sharing our lives with others, and that includes breastfeeding. Shape up Facebook and practice what you preach. Breastfeeding is not obscene. For more information and to add your voice visit the Facebook group for the Sydney eventopen letters to Facebook and some of the images considered to be 'obscene'. Please also add your views in the comments below.

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Being safe when bubba is sick

When bubba is sick, it's so awful for everyone. Your precious baby is sick and in pain, and we as parents try to do everything we can to fix it. In my more lucid moments when I don't have a screaming, sick baby I worry that crying child + stressed and tried parents + quick actions to try to fix the problem = potential for things to go wrong. We have two rules which I hope will act as a safeguard to prevent any medication overdosing.

Firstly, only one of us (either my husband or me) gives Chubs her medicine. Usually it's me, since I'm getting up and doing the night feeds anyway, but if I'm exhausted then I will nominate him as the medicator-in-charge for that night. We are hoping that this will prevent one of us giving a dose at 1am in a sleepy haze, and then the other giving a dose soon after.

Secondly, we check the dosage on the box every. single. time. Ibuprofen and paracetmol have different required volumes, and the dosage of most medicines increases as your child grows. Some medications are available in different concentrations, so they may require different volumes for the same amount of active ingredient. This means that what the dose was last time - the dose you have remembered in your head - may not be the correct dose. So we check what the correct dose for weight is, and check that the same number is what is in the syringe/ cup each and everytime.

Over the top? Perhaps. Better than accidently overdosing and making bubba very sick? Definately.

How to cook a meal (written by someone who can't cook)

I am not a domestic goddess. Far from it. Unfortunately, my family and I still need to eat. My husband often takes care of dinner, but I do need to pull a rabbit out of the hat (or dinner out of the freezer) every now and again.

I'm a big fan of freezer cooking, mostly because I'm lazy. The recipe below is for (Spaghetti) Bolognese and it freezes well. I just cook the bol and freeze that, then cook the pasta fresh on the night. My husband has rice instead of pasta; sometimes I cook that and freeze it with the meat, other times we just cook it fresh on the night.

Freezer cooking is great, since I can cook at a more convenient time (that is, after Chubs is in bed) and if I cook in bulk then we get a few meals out of it. This means less preparation, washing up and fuss in general.

Bolognese
The portions here are for eight serves, so four dinners for our family of two big people.

Ingredients
1kg beef mince (I buy the cheapest stuff and drain it, but you may prefer the leaner stuff)
2 cups frozen veggies (you could use fresh if you wanted, but I'm too lazy)
1 onion, diced (I skip this, but supposedly everyone else in the world likes onion)
1 tin tomatoes (crushed, chopped, whole or whatever was on special that week)
1 jar pasta sauce (I said this was a recipe for someone who can't cook)
2 glasses of wine (substitute for your favourite tipple as required)

Stick the onion in the pan until it goes clear-ish (allegedly this happens - like I said, I skip this bit.)
Brown the mince and drain the fat if you're a cheapskate like me who buys the low grade fatty stuff. I find it easier to brown 500g of mince at a time, and then stick all the browned mince in together for the next steps.
Tip in the tinned tomatoes and the jar of pasta sauce, stir and let it simmer for a bit.
To keep busy while you're supervising the simmering, start drinking the first glass of wine.
When it seems to 'come together' after about five minutes, add in the veggies.
Let it simmer some more for about ten more minutes until it reduces a bit and you finish your wine. Dish the bolognese up into whatever containers you are freezing it in.
Label the containers, bung in the freezer and pour yourself a congratulatory glass of wine.

If you really want domestic goddess points, do the washing up as well instead of leaving it for later. You get another glass of wine if you're good enough to do the washing up, too.


This certainly isn't going to get me on any TV cooking shows, but it's fairly cheap, reasonably healthy, simple to cook and dead easy to upscale to make in bulk for the freezer.

Also, can you tell I'm breastfeeding and miss cooking with wine?


Check out this link for more frugal meals

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Saturday snippets - The Mercy House

I am planning on linking on Saturdays to share information, and first up is The Mercy House.

Those of you who are WFMW-ers will no doubt already be familiar with The Mercy House. In short, it is a maternity home in Kenya which provides prenatal and neonatal care to some of the most at risk young women in the world, as well as training, education, counselling and emotional and spirtual support and guidance.

The Mercy House was started when Kristen Welsh saw a great need and is totally funded on donations and from sales of the jewellery, placemats, bags and other wares which the girls produce in the House. Please pop in to have a look at the amazing, literally life changing and saving that is happening, and support it though donations, purchases and/ or prayers.

Friday, 3 February 2012

Noise

I need to declare something.

I let my baby daughter watch TV in the mornings.

When I say 'let', obviously it's not like she asks me. Perhaps I should rephrase.

I put ABC Kids on TV in the mornings when my baby daughter wakes up at stupid o'clock, because she loves watching the theme songs and I get to nap on the couch for a bit until I'm ready to face the day, and/ or she needs breakfast or a nappy change.

It works for us, and I can't believe how much she loves the theme songs of all the little shows. Her favourite, by a long way, is Raa Raa the Noisy Lion.


Raa Raa loves making noise in the Jingly Jangly Jungle. Even the stones make noise. My question to you, is what sort of noise do you make?

What sort of noise do you make to those around you? Are you known as the person who is generally positive and enthusiastic? Do you leave people feeling cheerful? When people see you coming into the room, do they brace themselves for a wave of whinging? Do you say things which are encouraging, or do you bring others down? We all have not-so-great days and need to vent, and there's nothing wrong with that. However, what are you usually like? Do you make noise of support, or noises which hinder?

Do you make noise of challenge? We often associate good with quiet. We teach children to sit quietly, to not make noise, to put their hands up until called upon. Sometime, though, the right and good thing to do is to make noise of challenge, to stand up for people and to rebel against authority.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics, and I did not speak out, because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me.
The above quote is from Martin Niemöller, a German Protestant pastor who opposed the Nazi regime. Whilst the exact version is subject to some historical debate (due to the fact that he spoke on numerous occasions), the intent is clear. I first came across this quote about 15 years ago in Social Studies class at school and it has stuck with me ever since. I certainly shaped and inspired many of my actions to call for change.

As a teacher, I help to encourage and equip students to not be a 'bully bystander'. I urge you to not remain silent when you should speak. Respond to that offensive Facebook comment, call out your friend when she makes a racist joke. Stand up for your brother when he is attacked at a family barbecue for his views about how he raises his child. In short, endeavour to speak out when needed - do not remain silent when you should not.

Life is filled with noises - good and bad, soft and loud, conforting and painful, and everything in between and beyond. What sort of raa-raa-ing are you doing?

Thursday, 2 February 2012

The prize for...

Hello Baby
...this week's beautiful book goes to Hello Baby by Jenni Overend. This charming story is illustrated by the celebrated Julie Vivas whose soft, warm watercolours also appear in books such as Possum Magic and Wilfred Gordon McDonald Partridge.



The picture book tells the story of Jack and his family. Jack and the others have been awaiting the day of the homebirth of his little brother or sister. The day finally arrives, and Jack and his sisters, father, aunt and the midwife help his mother through her labour, birth and the first few hours of the new baby's life.

This book isn't scary or ick, but is a beautiful, loving birth story. You certainly don't need to be a homebirth advocate to enjoy the miracle in this book. I first came across this book as a teenager when I was babysitting for a family. I was then and am now probably one of the least likely people to plan a homebirth, but even as a fourteen year old I could appreciate the warmth of this picture book.

As well as just being a lovely story in its own right, then book could also be used to initiate conversations about babies, birth, pregnancy and family changes. This book is full of warmth, closeness, cuddles, excitement and love - just like the birth it talks about.

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

WFMW - Free pattern - very simple slipover vest (knitting)


This very simple free knitting pattern is ideal for charity knitting. I first created it several years ago for Knit-a-Square, who works with AIDS orphans and other vulnerable children in South Africa and Zimbabwe.

As I explained earlier, a slipover is a vest which can be worn directly on the skin if needed. It therefore needs to be very soft and stretchy. It is a much looser knit than would normally be used so there should be lots of give.

This pattern required knit stitch only - no purl, increasing or decreasing. This makes it prefect for beginners. If you think you would like more of a challenge, try the medium difficulty slipover.

It is important that the slipover is not too short - if in doubt, a little longer is better. Also ensure that you leave plenty of room for the armholes - about a third of the total length. Sadly some vests which have been sent to KAS cannot be used because the arm holes are too small.

The slipover I made in the pictures was made with leftover bits of very soft 100% wool yarn, which is why it has the stripey appearance. (It's the same slipover, it just looks different front and back.) You can make your slipover all in one colour, the four pieces in different colours, or stripey like mine. For more ideas on colour combinations have a look here.



Slip over pattern Very easy knitting – knit stitch only.



This slip over is made by knitting two large rectangles for front and back, and then two straps. All four rectangles are sewn together at the end.

Use 7.5 mm needles and soft yarn – anything from 4 ply (two strands) to 8 ply. Consider using two strands of baby yarn. Natural fibre a good next to the skin, just ensure that the yarn you use isn't scratchy.

Large rectangle – make two (one for the front, one for the back)

Work in garter stitch (knit every row)

*NB 'Size' referes to the size of the finished garment

Size
Number of stitches to cast on 
Number of rows
9 inches by 12 inches
32
84
10 inches by 13 inches
35
91
11 inches by 15 inches
39
105
12 inches by 16 inches
42
112
13 inches by 18 inches
46
126



Straps – make two

Work in garter stitch (knit every row)

Size
Number of stitches to cast on 
Number of rows
9 inches by 12 inches
10
30
10 inches by 13 inches
10
30
11 inches by 15 inches
12
32
12 inches by 16 inches
12
34
13 inches by 18 inches
15
34



Sew together


Sew straps between front and back rectangles as shown

Fold in half, sew up side seams (blue to blue and green to green) leaving the top third of garment open for arm holes. Do not make the arm holes too small.

Weave in ends.


For postal instructions on how to get your slipover to AIDS orphans and other vulnerable children, click here. To see slipovers and other knitting in action, have a look here.

To see other ways that Work for Me to help those in our local and global community, check our Kristen's blog.
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