I Support You Movement

This week is World Breastfeeding Week. I know that I bang on about breastfeeding a lot - because it's important to me.

However, one thing that trumps breastfeeding or anything else everytime is support, and love. It was with much excitement that I heard about the I Support You campaign. Suzanne Barston, the Fearless Formula Feeder, Jamie Lynne Grumet (of Time Magazine cover fame) and Kim Simon of Mama By The Bay have launched the "I Support You" campaign.

The I Support You movement is a respectful, empathetic, compassionate exchange between parents. We all feed our children differently, but we are all feeding with love, and in ways that work for our individual circumstances and family dynamics. I Support You is the first step in helping formula-feeding, breast-feeding, and combo-feeding parents to come together and lift each other up with kindness and understanding. We have chosen to announce this movement during World Breastfeeding Week, to honor the commitment of those who fight for better support for breastfeeding moms; we are inspired by this, but believe that by changing the focus to supporting all parents, we can truly provoke positive change without putting the needs of some mothers above the needs of others. The “I Support You” movement aims:

1) To bridge the gap between formula-feeding and breastfeeding parents by fostering friendships and interactions.

2) To dispel common myths and misperceptions about formula feeding and breastfeeding, by asking parents to share their stories, and really listening to the truth of their experiences.

3) To provide information and support to parents as they make decisions about how to feed their children.

4) To connect parents with local resources, mentors, and friends who are feeding their children in similar ways.

With that in mind, I submit the above. I chose a coffee cup, because I'm not super keen on photos of my daughter and me being publicly available, but also because a friendly chat over a cup of coffee has often been a source of support for me. So, regardless of if you are a coffee drinker or not, to all the loving mothers out there - I support you.

I urge you all to celebrate support, diversity and inclusiveness, to leave the MummyWars behind, and to share the love around.

 

More spoken word

This one used to be my favourite spoken word, until this one.

Now they are tied for first place.

It was actually a student who first introduced me to Taylor Mali. She typed this whole poem out on a piece of paper and gave it to some of her teachers for Teacher's Day one year, along with a touching message of her own. She also performed the whole poem at a school showcase night (in from of students and parents) and as part of one of end of term assemblies (in front of every student in the school). If you've not seen a young teenager perform in front of a captive group of her peers then you probably won't understand the guts, determination and passion that this takes. Both this poem and this student hold a special place in my heart.

Hamburger in my handbag.

 

This is what I found in my handbag the other day, at 3am no less.

 

Toddler in the house, it seems.

 

What's the strangest thing you've had in your bag?

Embarrassed - Breastfeeding in public

This spoke word has had such a powerful affect on me. It has blown me away.

 

 

It seems I'm not the only one. Earlier today it had 63 thousand views, tonight it has 113 thousand. I thought it had been around for a while and was just getting a share snowball today, but checked just before - it was only uploaded on Thursday.

This. This is phenomenal.

Happy Birthday to my breastfeeding baby - again (Part Three)

Read Part One here
Read Part Two here

Well, The Day came. No Mummy milk allowed until bedtime. We'd prepared, discussed, and braced ourselves. I expected the tantrums to be epic, for her poor little world to be ripped from her, while we tried to support her as best we could.

What do you know - it was ok. No diasters, no tantrums, no screaming. She asked for Mummy milk in the afternoon, and I said my well rehearsed 'No darling, you're too big for Mummy milk in the day time now. Remember no Mummy milk in the day time after your party?' She was happy with a cuddle and a drink of water instead. Well, she wasn't really happy, perhaps 'reluctantly accepting' is a better description. She had a little bit of a whimper, a snuggle and her water bottle and she was ok. No screaming, no crying, no tantrums. Wow.

It seemed that I'd underestimated her ability to understand what was going on; I'd sold her short. Day weaning so far has been far less painful for everyone than we were expecting, and I'm very thankful for that.

After The Day we tried to make things as smooth as possible for Chubs. I skipped playdates and made other arrangments for meetings for a week or two where there were likely to be breastfeeding bubs. Daddy started to offer 'honey milk' (warm cows' milk in a cup with a teeny drop of honey) when 'Mummy milk pweeze' was called for. We continued to distract as needed - either with a different activity or by offering 'Daddy milk - tee hee hee' or suggesting that one of her teddies have 'Chubs milk'. Last week I was holding a newborn baby for a moment while her mother got her things ready to leave. Chubs insisted that I hold the baby up to her to pretend to have 'Chubs milk' - she even told the baby off when I handed her back to her mum saying 'other side! other side!'

A month on and she still sometimes asks for 'Mummy milk' during the day but again is generally happy with 'No Mummy milk in the daytime, remember?' I'm not going to jinx it and actually call her day weaned just yet, but things are certainly going well. She generally feeds to sleep at night, and I still give her a feed if she asks after daycare (probably about two thirds of the time). She feeds in the morning if we don't have anywhere to be before 10am and can have a lazier start, but on my work days it's up and go go go so there's no time for milky snuggles and no one seems to mind - it's been this way for at least six months. I had expected an increase in night feeds to compensate for the day time drought, but it never really happened. She often sleeps through (about five times a week) and when she does wake it's generally towards the end of the night and one quick feed is enough to get us both back to sleep quickly (although it is a pain to get out of bed now she's in her own room - now I remember why I liked cosleeping in the first place!)

I've noticed a difference in my attitude to breastfeeding. I'm resenting it less and enjoying it more, which is just how it should be. I am missing feeding during the day - just a little. What I'm missing a lot more was having breastfeeding in my 'parenting toolbox' - Chubs gave up feeding out and about to reconnect/ destress a long time ago (too much going on) but I could still use it to get her to sit still for five minutes. I do miss that now when I try to stall for time and finish an urgent conversation! Since we're only feeding at night I'm not feeding in public anymore, and I do miss the smiling nods to other mothers with a baby at the breast (it looks a bit funny if I do 'the nod' without a child at the breast!) Overall the changes have been for the best, and all three of us are happier now.

I now post the same question that I did a year ago - so, where to from here? My answer this year is the also same as last year - simply, on. As with any good relationship, our breastfeeding one has faced change and our whole family responded with love, support, respect and flexibility. Our breastfeeding relationship changed a great deal in it's first year, and just as much in it's second year. What Chubs' third year will bring, breastfeeding or otherwise, I'm sure will be just the same - full of colour, excitement, unpredictibility, hope, tears, laughter, craziness, gusto and love.

Happy Birthday to my breastfeeding baby - again (Part One)

Our little princess is two. She's a raging ball of excitement, enthusiasm and energy. She loves singing nursery rhymes, dancing and drawing. She plays with her Duplo and Little People and play food. Some of her favourite games are playing dolls, playing cars, jumping in muddy puddles and going out to watch the garbage truck. She's also a WHO baby - but more on that later.

When I blogged about breastfeeding her for a year I said this about what would happen next
So, where to from here? Well, simply - on. Breastfeeding is beneficial and enjoyable for everyone in our family, so we will continue. Perhaps Chubs will wean soon on her own, perhaps I will encourage weaning. Perhaps something will happen which will force weaning; I don't know. There are two people in this breastfeeding relationship and we will continue while everyone is happy.
Well, it's yes and no to pretty much each of those points. Yes, she's still breastfeeding. No, I'm no longer pumping (except for one time when a friend needed some milk). Yes, it's still beneficial and enjoyable - at times, in some ways; it's also downright disasterous, stressful and upsetting at times, too. She certainly hasn't weaned, but is moving towards it - as she has been from when she first started eating solid food. Weaning - well, it's complicated. The three people in this family are happy - now.

When I left off at one year, Chubs was 'feeding on ask-nicely' (not feeding on demand-and-whinge), kinda. I would delay a feed if I was cooking dinner, or I was busy. Once I stopped pumping at for daycare, things were much more managable. As with all things with Chubs, we kept going along in a gentle, loving way, until something changes.

I while ago - I think when Chubs was a newborn - I came across this post at The Leaky Boob which I strongly, strongly recommend. It explains so much about the realities of nursing a toddler. If you've not read it, please go and read it now.

To paraphrase - if a toddler is frustrated and throws her broccoli on the floor, most people don't say 'well, time to stop eating vegetables'. If a toddler becomes 'overly attached' and decides that she MUST HAVE eight different stuffed toys in bed with her at night, most people just chalk it up as a 'phase' - they don't declare the child's bed a toy-free zone for fear that she will never become independent. If a toddler is scared or overwhelmed and wants a cuddle or to hide behind Mummy's leg, then most people 'indulge' the toddler, knowing that she is seeking help with meeting a need, and that she will come out at play when she feel happy, comfortable and safe. When a toddler asks for 'drinky' or 'teddy' or 'Daddy' we celebrate and encourage her language development and her ability to ask for what she wants/ need - and we give her what she has asked for (if appropriate, of course).

However, when any of these things involve breastfeeding, it seems that often breastfeeding is to blame for the 'problem'. These things generally aren't problems, they are normal toddler stages of development. In our case, Chubs developed her language skills, her need for comfort and reassurance, her ability to soothe and relax herself to sleep in the context of her little world, which includes breastfeeding.

Through breastfeeding, she has learned how to be respectful of someone else's body, time and feelings. She's learned to follow structures, and rules. She's learned how to ask nicely, how to say please and thank you. She's learned boundries, and that there are two people in this nursing relationship, and three people in this family. She's learned about a bedtime routine, and about Saturday morning snuggles. She's learned about love, family, togetherness and support.

Would she have learned all these things if she'd weaned at one day, one week, one month or one year? Of course she would have. Any toddler in a loving home learns about these things in the context of her environment, and breastfeeding is part of Chubs'.

Soon after her first birthday, I had some medical issues which made weaning (through drastically cutting my supply) a very real possibility. Whilst the frustrations that I had with many doctors who continued to blame breastfeeding for my issues (um, I wasn't breastfeeding when this was a problem when I was fifteen!) are the topic for another post, suffice it to say that what I needed wasn't just a breastfeeding friendly doctor, but a breastfeeding knowledgable one. At last I found her, and I had two options - one which would drastically cut my supply, and the other which had issues and complications of its own. After further investigation, discussion with Dear Husband, considering the benefits and risks of each option (including the benefits and risks to both Chubs and me of continuing to breastfeed and of weaning) I decided to try the non-supply cutting option. Thankfully, our predictions were correct and it has been a great treatment choice. I will never forget however, the panic that I felt at forced weaning. Even at an age when many children have already weaned or are almost there, it didn't feel right for us - actually, it felt very very wrong. Had the circumstances been different, then of course the outcome might have been different. I'm very thankful that we were able to navigate the issue and find a workable plan. Many women face breastfeeding issues which may force weaning at all stages; thankfully, on the balance of everything, we were able to find a way through.

Don't get me wrong, it hasn't all been happiness and joy and unicorns farting rainbows (to borrow a phrase - I told you to read the Leaky Boob post above). Sure enough, before I knew it, breastfeeding a toddler was. driving. me. fucking. insane. The gymnurstics were giving me sore breasts, and sometimes the frequency drove me bonkers. The same child who would happily go all day at daycare without a feed would feed con-stant-ly when she was with me. One morning I was out with a friend who had a daughter weeks older than Chubs and a newborn, and Chubs had more feeds than the newborn did.

At first we tried gentle rules. I canvassed lots of friends who had fed toddlers (a few IRL but mostly online) about what strategies they used. (The same way that I ask for ideas about what to put in lunchboxes, or to make outings less stressful, or how to manage bedtime - you know, pretty much like every other aspect of parenting.) At first some gentle guidelines were enough to keep me sane.

- I rarely offered feeds, and fairly frequently refused (or delayed). Chubs was so keen that this wasn't a biggie. I've heard of other kids who self wean much earlier - Chubs certainly wasn't  one of those.

- "When x then y" became a big thing. "When I've finished paying for the groceries, then you can have Mummy Milk." After only two or three times, Chubs learned that she could trust me to offer when we actually got the the 'when' bit, so this worked really well for us for a while. In my mind, it's acceptable for a newborn to scream and carry on asking for a feed while shopping, and either to cut the shopping trip short or to feed at the checkout. That's reasonable to expect of a newborn. It's also a reasonable expectation for a toddler to wait ten seconds or ten minutes for a feed - especially when she's munching on a biscuit while she's waiting and Mummy's doing something else.

- No gymnurstics. With a newborn, it's all very important to have correct positioning, so that you can get correct attachment and the baby can drain the breast effectively without damaging the nipples - and so on. With a toddler, it's certainly been my experience that just waving a breast in the general direction of the child is enough to be called 'positioning'. However, once the novelty wore off, all I was left with was sore breasts. Just because you can feed while watching TV and dancing to The Wiggles, doesn't mean I'm going to let you. We tried a few different positions and rules - like everything, it's an ongoing process of what works and what needs to change. All that really works now is sitting sideways on my lap or lying down. I've vetoed sitting next to me, moving while feeding, watching TV while feeding, switching sides more than three times and feeding from the 'top' breast when lying down.

- I continued the rules that we already had like asking nicely, no pinching, no hitting, no squirming.

So over the past year, we developed these rules, and continued our happy, exciting, crazy life of drawing, playdough, daycare, playgrounds, groceries and play time. Breastfeeding was just part of what we did - free of the fuss of pumping or needing EBM or formula, we continued on, making adjustments as required. However, as I said above, the time came when all of the rules we had developed weren't enough and I was going absolutely. fucking. insane over breastfeeding, and drastic action was called for.

to be continued in Part Two and Part Three

Why formula is not poison

I came across this link recently, and I believe this mother makes an excellent point.

Formula is not white poison. It's not heroin. It's not the enemy.

Can I say that again loud and clear. FORMULA IS NOT THE ENEMY.

Formula is a breastmilk substitute. A substitute, a replacement, an alternative. Even the frigging WHO Code refers to ‘breast milk substitutes’. There’s a reason it’s not called the “International Code of Marketing of Baby Poisons”.

If I can’t teach a class, they get a relief teach in as a substitute. Not a criminal, but a substitute teacher. If I don’t have a bib when we’re out, I can substitute with a napkin. Not with a sheet of asbestos, but with an acceptable alternative. If the route to work is closed due to traffic, I can go the long way round. Not give up on work entirely, but find a different route.

Yes, formula is not as good as breastmilk. Yes, it carries risks (but so do all methods of feeding). Yes, donor milk is often (but not always) a better alternative. But formula is an acceptable substitute.

Existing readers of my blog will know that I have some pretty strong views about the unethical advertising of formula, but that does not mean that the product is bad. I think that a lot of the marketing techniques of pharmaceutical companies are pretty abysmal (and in many ways similar to formula companies) but that doesn’t mean that I think medications are evil. Actually, medications are very similar to formula – in some cases they are essential and lifesaving, and in many cases they are ‘just’ helpful and convenient. Medications, like formula, are susceptible to being used inappropriately and their use needs to be carefully managed to minimise the risks – but they aren’t the cause of everything bad in the world. They are a GOOD THINGS - sometimes used inappropriately and dangerously (often fuel on by dodgy marketing) – but still fundamentally a GOOD THING.

Operation ReClaim Our Bed: SUCCESSFUL

ORCOB Part 1

ORCOB Part 2

To the people who told me 'you'll never get her out of your bed'
To the people who told me 'time to toughen up'
To the people who told me 'you'll regret starting bad habits'

...this post is respectfully dedicated to you.

Here is the current set up of Chubs' bed.

The only change from the last update is that we slipped a pool noodle under the fitted sheet to make it harder for her to roll out on that side. It's not perfect and she has rolled onto the trundle, but it helps. If we didn't have the trundle we would get another bed rail or rearrange the bed against a wall.

This picture also shows the trundle with its legs folded away, which is how we use it pretty much every night.

I am officialy declaring ORCOB successful. After the first few weeks of me sleeping in with her most of the time, Chubs is now mostly happy to be by herself all night long. She sleeps through most (not all) nights. If I do need to go in, I give her a cuddle and a pat and give her back her dummy. If this isn't enough to get her back to sleep then I lie with her for a short, quick feed full of sleepy hormones for both of us. A few times I've fallen asleep in her bed for a little while, generally I'm only in there for about two minutes then I go back to our bed. When she does wake I'm out of bed for less that five minutes then back to bed - about the same as getting up to pee or get a glass of water.

Weeks before her second birthday, she is happily sleeping (mostly) alone in her own room. At this stage I expect that night feeds will gradually fade away, as did her need for constant closeness all.night.long.

My husband and I have our bed 'back' - as much as any parents of a young child do. She toddles in in the mornings, blankie trailing behind her and teddy under her arm. She comes up to me and with a dummy in her mouth and about three more in her hands (just in case, sigh...) she gives me the most precious, sweetest smile and says 'Mummy milk peease Mummy' and gives me a kiss. I drag my exhausted body into the arena of the awoken, pull her up onto our bed and have milky snuggles for a few minutes. 'Other side?' is then followed by 'outside?' and we're all up and off - ready to face the day of cereal and toilet training and colouring in and Peppa Pig.

We were certainly keen to have Chubs in her own room earlier, but after a while it became clear that she wasn't ready, and that all our plan was achieving was less sleep for everyone. So we waited a few months, though again about the needs of all three people in our family, came up with a new loving and respectful plan, and gently tried it out. In the space of less than a month Chubs gently transitioned into usually sleeping though usually all by herself. No crying, no screaming, no disasters.

Now, this won't work for every family. Heck, it didn't work for our family a few months ago. But what did work was doing what worked for us, now, at this point, with what we had, valuing what was important to us.

To the people who told me 'do whatever you need to do so you all get the sleep you need'
To the people who showed me the data and science that shows that safe cosleeping is indeed very safe
To the people who taught me about milk production, supply and demand, breast compressions, feeding lying down and sleepy hormones
To the people who listened to my whinging about capital-H-ing, waking up with a foot in my face and a dummy in my ear or getting kicked out to the couch who understood that I was venting about a good approach that may not have been perfect
To the people who asked me 'in the end, does it really matter?'

and to the two people I love most in the world, with whom I share my love, my body, my home, my hopes, my dreams, my heart - and sometimes my bed,

...this post is also for you.

 

Goodbye car

We said goodbye to our car today. I bought it seven years ago, not long after I met Dear Husband. We've had lots of fun adventures. Lots of four wheel driving (mostly beach), lots of road trips and lots of long commutes.

It was no spring chicken when I got it, and I certainly didn't treat it gently! Lots of ks and lots of sand.

It never had air con, was full of rust and the door handle kept breaking no matter how many times I replaced it. The muffler had busted and been repaired with a tin can before being replaced. The starter motor went one year over Christmas and we couldn't get a replacement in for a week or so, so we have to spend all week push starting it. I had to sit in the supermarket car park for half an hour with the car running while Dear Husband went in and grabbed some groceries. Every time it got a service ther was plenty of things which needed doing, but it was still an amazing car.

We only ever got it bogged twice, and not for lack of trying. It was a great zippy little beach car, and I would seriously consider getting another (newer) model in the future when we buy another 4WD. For many years Dear Husband and I were a one car family with it - even before we were a family. We drove around in that car while we were dating, through our engagment and first few years of marriage. We drove to and from all my pregnancy appointments in it and to the hospital when I was in labour. It was the car that we brough Chubs home from the hospital in.

We got a second car in the middle of last year, which has whizz bang features like air con, CD player, keyless entry, central locking, and doors that close properly. Oh, and automatic transmission - it took me a while to get used to that!

Still, my little red Suzui will always hold a special place in my heart. Unfortunately it has an electrical fault somewhere which we just can't find, and not for lack of trying. It was continually cutting out - would go months at a time with no worries, and then would cut out again. When we couldn't drive two suburbs over without calling a tow truck, we knew it was time to let it go to the big sand dune in the sky.

The tow truck contractor picked it up today to take it to the wreckers. We couldn't even get it started to drive it onto the truck. Chubs keeps saying 'car babble babble babble gone', with actions to match.

So, goodbye to my little Suzi. Thanks for the memories. I know that you were just a car, but you were a daily part of a wonderful time of my life.

Linked to Inspiration Gallery

Well behaved children

A well behaved child acts like a child. Sometimes this is sitting quietly and drawing. Sometimes this is running about giggling. Sometimes this is having a bit of a cry because you are tired and hungry.

Today I went out to lunch with some lovely girlfriends - two with teenagers and adult children and one childless. Chubs came too, and acted like a normal toddler.

My friends were very welcoming and supportive. They were happy to arrange the times around nap time (which actually backfired anyway, since toddlers can be a little unpredictable...) The friend who booked arranged a high chair and no one minded when I didn't finish a sentence.

The other diners were very understanding. Middle aged and elderly women gave me the "I've been there and I understand" look as I raced after Chubs as she made a dash for the carpark. A young couple who sat near us were encouraging of Chubs when she showed them her trucks and danced around while they were eating their meal. The young man gently grabbed Chubs when she made yet another run for the door when I couldn't get to her fast enough. It's very comforting to know that a random stranger cares for Chubs' safety.

I rang the cafe to thank them for not treating a child as an inconvience and I spoke with one of the owners. He hadn't been there when we were, and he said when he arrived he saw the sultanas on the floor and asked his wife if their almost two year old granddaughter had been in. He assured me that normal child like behaviour wasn't a bad thing at all and 'you can't just tell them to sit quietly'.

Both the owner and my friend commented that having Chubs/ children around made for a more enjoyable, fun and happy atmosphere. It's a real blessing to go somewhere were he vibrant and bubbly personality is valued and celebrated, rather than seen as something that I should apologise for.

Jamie Lynne posted a similar article, and it actually came across my newsfeed just after I got home from lunch which I thought was wonderful timing. Of course I'm not saying that children should be undisciplined, disrespectful, unattended or unaware of their surroundings. It was refreshing to go somewhere where children weren't just tolerated, but celebrated as a vibrant and beautiful part of the mosaic of life.

Linked

What is said and what a mother hears

There are some things which as a mother I get a little, um, sensitive about. I don't know it it's hormonal, if it's some sort of rite of passage, or it's just me being a bit crazy, but sometimes what I hear isn't exactly what is said.

What Dear Husband says: "You know darling, Chubs's hair is getting a bit long, do you think we Should get it cut?"
What I hear: "How about we take Chubs out and get someone to slice her skin with a razor blade and then give her four tattoos."

What Dear Husband says: "You know darling, we could just buy Chubs a birthday cake"
What I hear: "You know darling, we could just buy Chubs a birthday cake, and then after the party we can let her play in a pile of used syringes and chew on some cigarette butts."

What Dear Husband says: "Hey darling, you think we should try some of these baby food pouches?"
What I hear: "If we buy Chubs these pouches then all the GoodMotherPoints you got from mashing up all that pumpkin into ice cube trays will null and void, actually all the GoodMotherPoints that you ever got from doing anything at all will be wiped if we even give her one spoon full of pre made baby food. Oh, and we should then let her chew on some lead paint."

It's crazy, it's irrational, and it's pretty bad. It's like I had a Caesaran and an ear implant at the same time, which translates perfectly reasonable suggestions into crazy-lady-extremo.

By the way, we are huge huge baby food pouch fans, probably too much so. "From six months" still counts at 19 months, right? Still no hair cut though, and it's one homemade bitrhday cake for one, so far. Phew.

Photos or no photos?

It's a hard decision for me as to if to post photos of our family on this blog, and on the internet in particular. It's something I think about a lot, but it's hard to decide.

I have erred on the side of 'no', since I'm not really comfortable with the idea of Chubs' image being freely available to anyone who has an internet connection. I'm also concerned about privacy. I wouldn't like someone to be able to know where we lived, or what our names were, or other identifing details. However, we are finding this increasingly hard to actually carry out.

I don't mind putting photos of Chubs up on Facebook - indeed I like it. All of my privacy settings are locked down, so only friends can see. However, it's not a simple as this. If anyone else is tagged in a photo, then all of their friends can see that photo. Chubs is in both my cover photo and my profile picture; and both of these are public. Where to draw the line? Allow photos of her, but not if anyone else is tagged? What about when friends put up photos of her, and their friends can see her? What if their privacy settings aren't as tight as mine?

There are more 'leaks' in the plan when it comes to interacting on Facebook. Because Chubs is in my profile pic, then her photo is available to anyone who looks at any other page that I have posted on. The simple solution to that is to not have her in my profile picture; but I like it. I have to decide if the privacy benefits justified the locked-down-ness.

There are more and more opportunities for Chubs' photo to be 'out there' - and out of my control. I could stop this, but I need to decide if it is worth avoiding opportunities for her because I'm precious about her photo. We had an absolutely beautiful photo taken of Chubs having a breastfeed, and I submitted it to a breastfeeeding calendar for consideration. I ummed and ahhhed for a long time - I didn't want the image to be out of my control (or that of those who I trust) and freely available, but it was a bea-utiful photo. I didn't want to let my fears overtake a wonderful opportunity for her.

What about daycare photos? They got individual shots and a group shot. The group shot included identifing information - Chub's first and surnames, her photo, and the name and photo of the centre that she attended, even which room she was in. Should I not have given permission for her to be in the photo? Like every parenting decision, it's a balance.

What about modelling? We said no to a modelling opportunity when Chubs was tiny, firstly because of the photo issue, and secondly because it was linked to modelling contracts with a modelling agency, and we weren't comfortable with agreeing to everything that they wanted, and the messages that we though that would send. However, another opportunity has come up. This time it is for a friend's business. I trust this friend, there is more control, there's less image/ modelling agency issues and I can't wait to see the cute photos that we will get of Chubs! I'm still not totally comfortable with her photos being available, but I don't think that it's worth missing the opportunity.

It's also important to remember that anyone can take photos of Chubs when we are out in public. I might not like it, but they can do it. Should I not let her go to birthday parties in case another parent snaps her in a pic with his child? Should I not take her to the park in case the same thing happens there? What about shopping centres? Yes, I worry about the privacy issues of her name potentially being linked with her address, date of birth or other identifing information. If someone was super computer savvy they could probably do this now; but someone could also follow us home from the shops, or steal my handbag, or break into the doctor's rooms and steal her file. Do these present a great risk?

So, what to do? I'm still not totally sure, but then a lot of parenting decisions are like that. I consented to daycare photos, I let other friends put up photos of her on Facebook and I said yes to the modelling for my friend's business. I will continue to keep Chubs off the blog and forums, since they are more public. I know it's not a perfect plan, but they rarely happen.

What about you? How do you approach photos of you child?

The Slap

The Slap is a book by Christos Tsiolkas, and I have recently been rewatching the TV adapation on ABC1, and to be honest I'm not really sure what I think of it. I've got lots of thoughta and ideas an questions but certainly not a coherent viewpoint (or blog post - sorry).

The scenario is a barbeque with family and friends for Hector's 40th birthday party. A small child, Hugo, has poor behaviour. Everyone else at the party has a lot of issues, and the tension grows as the afternoon unfolds. The end result is that Hugo is slapped in the face by another party guest.

The show (and the book) is told in eight parts, from the point of view of eight characters. I don't want to go into a total recap, but if you're in Australia you can view them on iView.

I wanted to blog about this, but as I said above it's all a bit confusing to me and isn't very clear in my mind. A few thoughts about Rosie:


I can't really understand her. What are her motivations? Why does she does what she does?

After Hugo is slapped, she snatches him up and then shouts at Harry, the man who slapped Hugo. In a later episode, Harry comes to Rosie's house to apologise on the request of his wife. Rosie is furious at him. She appears to me to deliberately bait Harry - when he arrives she asks Hugo 'Do you remember this man Hugo?' I can't really articulate why this it bad, but it almost seems like Rosie is stirring up the situation to show Harry how bad it is (and therefore how bad he is, as the person who slapped Hugo), even if that means making things worse for Hugo. Hugo has been breastfeeding and is sitting Rosie's lap; as the apology meeting quickly spirals into disaster she shouts and swears at Harry across the table, and right into Hugo's ear. It seems strange to me that she would shout and swear in her son's face while trying to 'protect' him.

She does seem genuienly concerned for Hugo sometimes - when she sees that the pot is on the stove when visiting Rachael she knows that something bad has likely happened. She sets Hugo up at the table with a drawing to keep him busy, so that he doesn't see anything bad.

She seems obsessed, fixated on the court case - selfishly. For Rosie the court case and Harry's punishment become the enemy to pursue with a determination, passion and selfish fanatiscism. She tries to turn every conversation back to her and the court case. When she is shown support and friendship she snaps 'will you stop saying that?' because she didn't get her own way at the court case - much like a tantruming child.

Rosie seems to have many demons, but I can't seem to see through them. What are her motivations? Does she love Hugo because she loves him, or does she love him because she is pouring all of her emptiness and disappointments into being - or appearing - to be 'a good mother'. As Rachael says, 'at least Hugo will know that he was loved.' I can't help but wonder, is it all an act? If not all of it, then at least some of it?

Apparantly there is more information in the book; flashbacks to Rosie's childhood (I've not read the book). Perhaps this would make her easier to understand.

For all of her breastfeeding and talking about baby led weaning, I certainly don't think that Rosie is attachment parenting. AP is about being close to your child, intimatly knowing them and responding to their needs and that isn't what Rosie seems to be doing to me. Hugo is crying out for discipline, structure and consistency and that's not what he's getting, because Rosie is so blinded by her issues (manifesting as her persuit of Harry) that she can't see that he needs it; or if she can she doesn't have the strength to look for it.

I wanted to like her, I really, really did, but I just can't.

I've not seen any more; I missed the last episodes when it was last on. I will watch with reserved - interest. I'm still not sure if I'm liking it. It's uncomfortable viewing for sure - the tension is hard to watch. The acting is excellent.

There's another post in this where I want to discuss the breastfeeding, but that is for another day.

Plain packaging for formula?

Before I start this post proper, I would like to start this post with what I usually say when I talk about formula advertising. This is in no way, at all, in any way, a critism of how parents feed their children.

Yes, I'm a big breastfeeding fan, however, how someone else chooses to feed his/ her child is not my concern. Yes, I think that breastfeeding (or not) has public health implications, but so do many other things. Someone may write a blog post explaining why exercising regularly is great for the health of your family, and what the risks of not exercising are. Someone else may tell me about their experiences with in home/ family day care, and about how it meets the needs of small children better than other forms of care. Someone else may write a blog post about how car manufacturers encourage dangerous driving by making speeding look attractive, which may encourage reckless driving behaviour. None of these things mean that I am a bad person because I don't go to the gym, I send my daughter to a daycare centre and I have a red car, nor do I think that that is what these hypothetical posts intended.

This post is not several things too. It is not anti formula. It is not passing judgment on how someone feeds their child, it is not meant to be advice, it is not 'telling off' formula feeders. Kick me out of the "yay boobies" club if needed, but I don't think that using formula is something which demands a defence or explanation to random strangers or society at large.

This post is several things - it is a brief commentary on unethical advertising, it is an attempt to raise awareness about these tactics and it is an act of advocacy. With this post, perhaps one more seed of change will be sown. It may take many years, probably decades, but perhaps this post can be one tiny part - though a part none the less - of this change.

Now, for the post proper...

Recently a landmark decision was made in the Australian High Court which is of international significance. (Before I go on, I am in no way a legal expert beyond a fondness for big words, so please forgive my lack of understanding of detail and feel free to correct me if required.) The Australian Government introduced legislation which would force cigarette packets to have plain packaging. Plain packets, no logos or pictures (except for the graphic warning label) or colours or fonts - just a plain packet with the brand name printed and the information about the type and number of cigarettes and so on. It is my understanding (and again, my legalese is very minimal) that the tobacco companies fought against this legislation on the basis that it infringed on their intellectual property rights and that such legislation was not permitted under the constitution.

The good part? The tobacco companies lost. The best part? They had to pay the Government's legal costs, too.

It got me thinking about unethical advertising, and in particular about how similar the sneaky techniques of tobacco companies are to formula companies.

Do you remember cigarette ads like these?

 

Nope, me either. That is, I remember seeing them in books and blog posts, but as items relegated to the dark ages of pop culture history. I think how amusing it is that cigarettes - perhaps the worst health invention ever - were being advertised as healthy. The worst aspect of the health issue is the respiratory system, and that's the very thing that the advertisments were saying how great cigarettes are - smooth on the throat. Throw in some puffed up professional expert endorsements (like physicians and scientists) and a good drag of pseudo-science and you have an addictive and attractive advertising campaign.

At least, I think it's amusing, until I remember that this actually happened to real, actual people. It's not so amusing, then. It still seems far fetched, though. As a child of the 80s I can't imagine that people actually believed the ads that said that cigarettes were healthy.

Of course, I realise that times change. The high court decision about the tobacco advertising got me thinking - in fifty years time, will the idea that formula was marketed as a health product seem unbelievable? I hope so.

When I was a child the idea that cigarettes were health was long gone of course, although cigarette advertising wasn't. I can't remember ever seeing any cigarette ads on TV, but I remember seeing lots of logos on billboards and lots of sports sponsors. I recall the Windfield Cup and logos adorning atheltes and sporting fields alike. I saw a story on TV about a couple (I think - I was small and it was a long time ago) who ran an informal coast guard service or something; paid for by advertising 'Winfield' in glorious red and white on the side of the boat. The couple were concerned that the (then) soon to be introduced laws banning cigarette advertising would mean that they would lose their funding for this community service. There was an advertising campaign a few years ago against plain packaging - poor, hard working corner store owners couldn't afford to have reduced (cigarette) sales so we should get plain packaging.

None the less, cigarette ads were banned, and now we have this landmark plain packaging. I think it's a huge step in the right direction. If one of the claims against plain packaging "it won't work so why do it" was true, then why were the tobacco companies so worried that they went to the extreme cost of mounting a high court claim? If they weren't really, really worried, then why bother? Now, back to formula. Some would suggested that likening formula advertising to tobacco advertising is ove the top, but I don't think so. The issues of advertising is even more of an issue with formula - formula is a legimate product which is very much needed. Yes, only by a small number of people in a small number of circumstances, but needed none the less. One could reasonably argue that cigarettes could or should be banned completely; not so for formula. As even the rigid breastfeeding supports will claim; when a baby is hungry, he needs to be fed. When the first three options (breastfeeding, expressed milk from mother, expressed milk from another mother) are not available/ practical/ possible, then formula is essential, life saving and vital. The amount of formula sold is obviously well above the amount that would be needed to meet those cases, and I believe that unethical advertising has a lot to do with that. The WHO Code states that no advertising should occur to parents or the general public, including information services such as baby clubs. However, despite Australia being a signatory much of the Code is not enforced under Australian law. A great deal of advertising also sneaks in as permitted through the gaping wide loophole that is toddler formula. Everywhere these days, the 'health benefits' of formula are advertised. The token 'breast is best, consult a health professional' is there - but not on the toddler formula, since it doesn't have to be. Some pseudo-science and a few expert endorsements and it's like we're looking at a 50s cigarette ad. "NAN Pro 3 with Bifidus BL is also sucrose free which is great news for little teeth!" here Similac^® Advance^®

Give your baby complete nutrition for the first year

Similac Advance has EarlyShield^® and is designed to support your baby’s developing immune system, brain and eyes, and strong bones. here Aptamil^® Gold+ 1 Infant Formula nutritionally supports the developing immune system. A well-supported immune system is important for your baby’s growth and development. here

 

"protect" "premium" "gold"

"Gold +" "premium" "Immunocare"

What is ImmunocareTM? Well, I've got no idea. It's trademarked, and it comes on a shiny gold shield, subconsciously protecting my child from all those nasty daycare germs, but how it actually works or what's in it? No idea. Breastfeeding support the child's immune system by helping the child to build passive immunity to diseases that the mother has come in contact with when the mother's antibodies pass in her milk into the baby. Stuffed it I know what ImmunocareTM does."Nutritionally supports the immune system" - so, it's about nutrition, not the immune system at all. Hmmm...

 

The High Court decision got me thinking about plain packaging formula. Of course, all formula advertising would need to be banned first (including retailers and toddler milk) - and it would take much, much greater legal minds than mine to tell me if the High Court decision could set a precedent in any way for a plain packaging formula push.

 

Is it too much to hope that the immune-caring benefit of formula eventually goes the way of cigarettes which soothe your cough? The health of our future depends on it.

Linked

Happy birthday to my breastfeeding baby

I posted about how Chubs turned one not long ago and we had a wonderful rainbow party for her. She is definitely a toddler now, not an infant. She is walking (running actually), knows a few words (Mum, Dada, ta, NanNan, stop and just this week, socks and dinosaur. I'm not kidding) and a few signs, had the most adorable pigtails and loves to dance to any music she hears. She recognises her favourite characters, will wave to puppies and people, can get off the couch or an adult bed safely and can play peekaboo. Heck, she even squirts antibacterial gel on her hands and rubs them together when we leave the petri dish that is daycare (that's my little germaphobe!). She is certainly not an infant. She's a walking, dancing, breastfeeding little girl.

It is not common to see a breastfeeding toddler. Indeed, I was first asked if she was almost weaned when Chubs was four or five months old - we hadn't even started solids yet. In Australia a little over 20% of babies are breastfed at 12 months (1) and many fully wean soon after. It is even less common to see a toddler breastfed in public. This is partly because some women find it easier to avoid the critism and just feed at home, but also practical - a toddler is not a newborn, and a toddler can be expected to wait for a feed if it's not convenient.

A toddler can also be expected to use her manners. We taught Chubs the sign language for 'milk' which she uses when she wants a feed. I much prefer her to look at me and make the sign for 'milk' (which is oh-so-cute) than to whinge and scratch at my shirt front. She is a big girl, she can use her manners. I love that when she's done she says 'ta' and pulls my shirt down to cover me up again. Of course, there's the phrase 'if they can ask for it, then they're too old for it'. Well, using that logic, Chubs has been to old since the day she was born. She 'asked' for a feed then by rooting around with her mouth, by sucking her fists and by crying. She can ask for a drink of water now by pointing at her sippy cup. She can ask for a story by picking up a book and bringing it to me - she will even swap books from my hands if she wants a different one to the one that I was trying to read to her. So using that logic, she's too old for a drink of water and a story, too. Even when she is old enough to say 'Mummy, can I have a breastfeed please?' it's not her need and desire for breastfeeding which has changed, but her cognative and language development.

So why am I still feeding her? In summary, because it is good for her, it's good for me and it's biologically normal. Nutritionally, breastmilk can provide a toddler with 31% of energy, 38% of protein, 45% of vitamin A, and 95% of vitamin C daily requirements (2). She's been a bit coldy recently and we've been trying to get her to eat some mandarins for the vitamin C but she's not been a fan. When I saw that statistic I relaxed a lot. It's a great food which is perfectly designed for her.

The immune benefits are huge - even if you ignore the nutritional and comfort benefits. If you could go to the shop and buy some sort of  'toddler immune supplement', imagine the claims they would make.
- Immune boosting properties
- Perfectly designed by a human antibody making machine
- Tailored exactly to the specific environment that you live it. Get antibodies to many of the diseases you are likely to come in contact with, both over your life time and in the short term.

Can you imagine how much of that would get sold? I can give that very substance, full of my antibodies, straight to my daughter for free, and yet I still feel the need to justify it?

The benefits of breastfeeding, of course, are more than just the properties of the milk itself. The comfort and closeness of breastfeeding is beneficial for both mother and baby, indeed the whole family (see Dear Husband's comments below.) A breastfeed can soothe a skinned knee or a shove from another kid at the playground. What's the harm in that? Many people comment on breastfeeding as shown in 'The Slap', where it was often used to avoid discipline. The problem there is not with the breastfeeding itself but the way it was used, in the same way that anything can be used as a distraction to avoid discipline. A feed to reconnect after a day apart at daycare/ work, a feed to sleep or to resettle at night or a feed after a tumble off the climbing frame at the park - a wonderful way to soothe and comfort my precious girl. There is no evidence to suggest that breastfeeding causes clinginess or emotionally needy children, indeed the opposite is often the case. She will grow out of needing to suckle for comfort, just as babies grow out of needing to suck on a dummy/ finger, needing a teddy or a blankie for comfort or needing to be swaddled at night to sleep. She will grow out of this when she is ready, or I will encourage her to wean if I'm not happy to keep feeding, but while we are both happy and both needing this connection, it will stay. Indeed, some women (such as those who have rare conditions leading to chronic under-supply like Insufficient Glandular Tissue or those who have intitated breastfeeding for an adopted baby/ child) breastfeed their child for small amounts of milk for its non nutritive benefits, and then feed the baby with a bottle for the bulk of their food requirements.

Dear Husband says that his attitude has changed. 'Now that I realise the health benefits of breastfeeding a toddler, I don't look at Chubs and think 'she's too old'. I think that we're doing the best for her health and her future by continuing and I'd rather do that for her than for her to have artificial / processed foods.' He also added about breastfeeding an older baby in general 'Some women can't and that's ok, but I think it also fosters a much more nuturing feeling in the home. It's really nice that Chubs will be playing on the floor with her toys and then she'll pop up and do the milk sign, it's a nice loving atmosphere to have'.

The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding for two years and beyond; and not just in third world countries, either. Dr Katherine Dettwyler (an anthropologist) has extensively studied weaning ages in other animals, particuarly non-human primates. She compared the weaning age of other mammals (particuarly large body weight non human primates) against factors such as length of gestation, weight gains, teeth development and age of sexual maturity. Using these studies she has determined he natural age of weaning for humans - that is, the age at which weaning would proably occur without cultural influences - to be between two and a half and seven years of age. Many refer to breastfeeding past 12 months as 'extended breastfeeding' but I'm not a big fan of that phrase. If it's the normal timeframe that someone should feed for, then what's extended about it? That's like saying that because we can keep babies born at 25 weeks gestation alive through artificial measures, then having a pregnancy last nine months is 'extended pregnancy'. I think the phrase 'full term breastfeeding' is more appropriate.

Now it's easy to say what things would be like without cultural and societal influences, but of course we do live within a society with expections, norms and influences. For example, gorillas can wean at whatever age they want; that doesn't change the fact that Chubs goes to daycare while I'm at work, which is obviously a hurdle in our breastfeeding relationship. 'The real world' is were we live each day, so to pretend that it doesn't exist would be foolish and unhelpful. However; here's perhaps the best thing about breastfeeding a toddler - I've already done most of the hard work. Chubs is a healthy little girl who enjoys a diet of many foods and is not reliant on breastmilk for all her nutrition, indeed some days she has very little breastmilk at all. There's no rushing home for a feed any more and it's much easier to plan feeds around a glass of wine, rather than the other way around with a pumped bottle, 'just in case'. I've not left any pumped milk for her (except at her nine/ ten hour long daycare day) for months. At 12 months my milk supply is 'practically bulletproof' - I no longer need to worry about a missed feed (or two or three). Cracked nipples, leaking and engorgment are a distant memory of last winter. Yes, breastfeeding an older baby does bring some new challenges. Since six months we've faced challenges of biting (with teeth!), sore breasts from acrobatic feeding and supply drops during my periods, but the bulk of the hard work is done. Most of the benefits for a fraction of the work - woo hoo!

I will be dropping my pumping session at work from this week, which will make a HUGE difference to my stress levels during the work day. No longer will I need to pack up the breast pump the night before, charge the batteries, pack the ice packs, go through the nightmare that was trying to fit pumping sessions into an impossibly tight teaching day, take home my expressed breastmilk in the cooler, scald the milk to inactivate the lipase and put it into labelled bottles for the freezer, wash the pump parts, recharge the batteries and then pack it all up again the next day. Once I've finished up my small freezer stash, Chubs will have soy milk or cow's milk at daycare.

I have to thank a close friend and colleague for her support during my pumping journey. We're a bit tight for space and there is no free room available at my work that I can pump in; not even a store room or something like that. (I don't have my own office but share a staff room with ten other teachers.) I've been using her office to pump in for the last six months and I really am indebted to her. If it wasn't for her letting me use her office to pump, then I'm not sure what I would have done. Had it not been possible to pump at work, then worst case scenario would have been early weaning. Thankfully I was able to avoid that. It was inconvenient for her since she needs to use her office to you know - do work in, so I appreciate that she made the effort to reorganise her day so that it would be available for me as much as she could. To thank her for her support, I made this cake to express my thanks. (See what I did there :) )

I put little milk bottles on it since they don't make little breast pump lollies.
I hope you're all impressed that I made it from scratch, too!

Breastfeeding a toddler is not only good for Chubs, but it's good for me too. Breastfeeding past 12 months lowers my risk of osteoporosis, breast cancer, ovarian cancer and anemia (3). In the same way that breastfeeding helped my body to recover from my (hellish) pregnancy, it is still helping my body now. I love that we have our special time together - well, most of the time I love it, sometimes it's frustrating out of my mind, but aren't most things with a toddler? It's a great tool for getting her to sleep and back to sleep - I'm sure I get more sleep because of breastfeeding than I would otherwise. If for no other reason than that it's a good idea! Mummy loves her sleep... :)

So, where to from here? Well, simply - on. Breastfeeding is beneficial and enjoyable for everyone in our family, so we will continue. Perhaps Chubs will wean soon on her own, perhaps I will encourage weaning. Perhaps something will happen which will force weaning; I don't know. There are two people in this breastfeeding relationship and we will continue while everyone is happy.

Do I think that everyone should breastfeed their toddler? Do I think that everyone should breastfeed full stop? As I've mentioned before, I'm a keen advocate for breastfeeding, I think it's an important public health issue and I obviously talk about it a lot. I feel that it is a responsible thing to speak out about unethical advertising of formula companies and to normalise breastfeeding. However, how a particular family choses to feed their child is totally their business, and none of mine. I fully respect others' choices as to how they feed their children and at what age they wean. There are as many different feeding/ weaning stories in the world as there are children and that diversity is to be celebrated. Please don't read this post as me telling others what to do. It's about me sharing our family's journey so far and the reasoning behind it. If you can take something from it which you think is worthwhile for your family, then I feel honoured. This is not an anti-formula post in the slightest, but a celebration of my precious breastfeeding relationship with my beautiful walking, dancing, breastfeeding little girl.

Linked

1 - Donath and Amir, 2000
2 - WHO/CDR/93.4
3 - Mortensen, K. Lactation Resource Centre

Feet

Toes, tootsies, peggies on feet. So chubby and munchable. Where will your toes take you? What steps will you take? You will walk and dance and jump and hike. You will balance on a beam, dance the song in your heart and splash in puddles. Those precious peggies will grow, those chubby feet will stand tall. Those beautiful feet belong to a beautiful girl, a beautiful girl with beautiful feet. Step by step you will walk your journey, leaving footprints on the ground and in people's hearts. From kicks in my ribs to a heel prick test, from grabbing for nappy changes and oft slipping socks. To wobbly steps and stubbed toes. What next? Ballet shoes and nail polish, sneakers to run a race? Kicks to the back of the car seat, a stamped foot in anger? Gum boots and high heels and soccer shoes? I tip-toe from your room as your little piggies wrapped in your romper are snug in your cot, I hang too cute socks to dry on the line. I look at your precious, chubby toes as you leave yet more footprints on my heart. Tootsies will grow, booties become boots. Babies become adults, but still leave footprints on hearts.

KASAD9: Sunburn and Mother's Day

I will be celebrating my first Mother's Day this year. I just missed it last year, at 38 weeks pregnant. Over at Create With Joy, we were asked for thoughts about mothers and Mother's Day. So, here are some thoughts in no particular order...

- Mother's Day was never really a big thing in our family growing up. Mum always said that she wanted a cuddle in the morning and a present made with love, and nothing more. It was only when I became an adult that I realised that Mother's Day was a much bigger deal for most people, on par with birthdays.
- Dear Husband said that Mother's Day wasn't really a big thing in his family growing up, either.
- Despite all that, I have found myself looking forward to this year. I'm not sure what Dear Husband and Chubs have planned for me, but we will wait and see.
- I love being a mother. It's wonderful in every way I thought and hoped it would be. Thank you sweetheart for being so wonderful x x x
- I still find it funny/  interesting the different ways that Mother's and Father's Days are treated. Mother's Day is all about giving Mum a treat or a break, but Father's Day is all about spending time with Dad. No one ever seems concerned with giving Dad a break...
- A dear friend told me a story recently about how at least Chubs was still too little to make Mother's Day difficult for me. She said it warned me it gets 'interesting' when they are old enough to make you breakfast in bed - that is, you have to sit in bed eating burnt toast and opening presents when you really need to be up getting things ready to go and visit both grandmas. I can't wait :)
- I once heard the phrase that 'Mothers become mothers when they become pregnant, but fathers become fathers when their baby is born.' What do you think about this statement? I asked Dear Husband and we both think it's true.
- I love you Chubs, my precious girl x x x

KASAD9: Sunburn

This square uses larger needles (7.5mm) and two strands of 8ply yarn. It knits up very quickly as there are less stitches and is lovely and soft.

See the tiny bit of green there? I ran out of yellow yarn, very close to the end. Rather than totally unpick the rows and start again, I added a small bit of green to go with the single strand of yellow for the last ten stitches. Remember, it's not always about being perfect - sometime good enough is just that - good enough, which is why I left the green there instead of doing it again.

Materials- 8 ply yarn in two colours. Approximately 70g of main colour, 30g of second colour.
- 7.5 mm knitting needles
- yarn needle to weave in ends, scissors to cut yarn.

Skills and difficulty
Beginner knitter
- cast on
- cast off
- knit stitch
- changing colour at the end of row
- carrying unused colour between rows

Colours
In this example, C1 is red and C2 is yellow

Procedure
1. Using 2 strands of C1, cast on 22 stitches
2. Knit every row in C1 (work in garter stitch) for 16 rows (8 ridges).
3. Knit 2 rows (1 ridge) with two strands of C2, carrying C1 up the side
4. Return to C1. Knit 2 rows (1 ridge).
5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 three times. Now you should have 4 lines of C2.
6. Knit every row in C1 (work in garter stitch) for 14 rows (7 ridges).
7. Cast off and leave a 50cm tail.
8. Weave in beginning end and butterfly the tail.

Variations
You can make more stripes in the middle by starting the lines (steps 3 and 4) earlier and continuing for longer. You just need to make sure that you have the same overall number of rows so that the finished square is 20cm (8 in) long, which for 7.2mm needles and double strands should be approximately 44 rows (22 ridges).

Return to all the KASAD posts
Linked

Fingers

Love.

Linked

Cornerstone

Cornerstone
noun

1. a stone uniting two masonry walls at an intersection.

2. a stone representing the nominal starting place in the construction of a monumental building, usually carved with the date and laid with appropriate ceremonies.

3. something that is essential, indispensable, or basic: The cornerstone of democratic government is a free press.

4. the chief foundation on which something is constructed or developed: The cornerstone of his argument was that all people are created equal.

Your cornerstone is what your life is measured from. For me, that is loving my family, being with them and caring for them. It is making a difference in the world, discovering new adventures and basking in the joy of life. To share with others this journey, to love, to laugh, to hold each other. To discover new things, to be challenged. To set off on new adventures, and return home to loving arms. To share beauty, to offer comfort, to create and explore and grow and love.

What is your cornerstone?

Why flowers?

It has always astonished me the way that we view flowers. We give them to sweethearts we want to woo, we grow them in our gardens for their beauty, we have them at funerals and send them to new mothers. I not only carried the roses in this photo on my wedding day, but I had them dried and framed and they are now on display in our home.

You're probably thinking - why is she against flowers? Isn't that like being against cuddles, or learning, or puppies, or rainbows? Why does it seem so strange to me that flowers are so entwined with our concept of beauty, love and caring? Well, it's because of what flowers are.

Flowers are cut off plant genitals.

Doesn't seem quite so pretty now, does it?

I love flowers, I really do. I love looking at them, I loved picking them as a child. I had plenty of flowers at our wedding and I love that the ones above are preserved and will always remind me of our special, magical day. I felt loved when friends and family sent floral arrangements to the maternity hospital when Chubs was born, and I treasure all the flowers that Dear Husband has given me. I think they are beautiful and wonderful and I wish I had more in my life.

I guess it's the inner nerdy biologist in me that has a little chuckle that lovers everywhere are trying to win each other over with cut off reproductive organs.

I hope I haven't ruined flowers for you. At least be glad that I didn't do this. Blooming marvelous!