The Slap

The Slap is a book by Christos Tsiolkas, and I have recently been rewatching the TV adapation on ABC1, and to be honest I'm not really sure what I think of it. I've got lots of thoughta and ideas an questions but certainly not a coherent viewpoint (or blog post - sorry).

The scenario is a barbeque with family and friends for Hector's 40th birthday party. A small child, Hugo, has poor behaviour. Everyone else at the party has a lot of issues, and the tension grows as the afternoon unfolds. The end result is that Hugo is slapped in the face by another party guest.

The show (and the book) is told in eight parts, from the point of view of eight characters. I don't want to go into a total recap, but if you're in Australia you can view them on iView.

I wanted to blog about this, but as I said above it's all a bit confusing to me and isn't very clear in my mind. A few thoughts about Rosie:


I can't really understand her. What are her motivations? Why does she does what she does?

After Hugo is slapped, she snatches him up and then shouts at Harry, the man who slapped Hugo. In a later episode, Harry comes to Rosie's house to apologise on the request of his wife. Rosie is furious at him. She appears to me to deliberately bait Harry - when he arrives she asks Hugo 'Do you remember this man Hugo?' I can't really articulate why this it bad, but it almost seems like Rosie is stirring up the situation to show Harry how bad it is (and therefore how bad he is, as the person who slapped Hugo), even if that means making things worse for Hugo. Hugo has been breastfeeding and is sitting Rosie's lap; as the apology meeting quickly spirals into disaster she shouts and swears at Harry across the table, and right into Hugo's ear. It seems strange to me that she would shout and swear in her son's face while trying to 'protect' him.

She does seem genuienly concerned for Hugo sometimes - when she sees that the pot is on the stove when visiting Rachael she knows that something bad has likely happened. She sets Hugo up at the table with a drawing to keep him busy, so that he doesn't see anything bad.

She seems obsessed, fixated on the court case - selfishly. For Rosie the court case and Harry's punishment become the enemy to pursue with a determination, passion and selfish fanatiscism. She tries to turn every conversation back to her and the court case. When she is shown support and friendship she snaps 'will you stop saying that?' because she didn't get her own way at the court case - much like a tantruming child.

Rosie seems to have many demons, but I can't seem to see through them. What are her motivations? Does she love Hugo because she loves him, or does she love him because she is pouring all of her emptiness and disappointments into being - or appearing - to be 'a good mother'. As Rachael says, 'at least Hugo will know that he was loved.' I can't help but wonder, is it all an act? If not all of it, then at least some of it?

Apparantly there is more information in the book; flashbacks to Rosie's childhood (I've not read the book). Perhaps this would make her easier to understand.

For all of her breastfeeding and talking about baby led weaning, I certainly don't think that Rosie is attachment parenting. AP is about being close to your child, intimatly knowing them and responding to their needs and that isn't what Rosie seems to be doing to me. Hugo is crying out for discipline, structure and consistency and that's not what he's getting, because Rosie is so blinded by her issues (manifesting as her persuit of Harry) that she can't see that he needs it; or if she can she doesn't have the strength to look for it.

I wanted to like her, I really, really did, but I just can't.

I've not seen any more; I missed the last episodes when it was last on. I will watch with reserved - interest. I'm still not sure if I'm liking it. It's uncomfortable viewing for sure - the tension is hard to watch. The acting is excellent.

There's another post in this where I want to discuss the breastfeeding, but that is for another day.

Bedtime books

We've been making a conscious effort to have a more rigid/ sequential bedtime routine for Chubs, so help her wind down at the end of the day. We've tried a few times before but it's never really worked. I think it's really important to read to your children every day, but whenever I've tried before she just grabs at the book and rips the pages or crawls away and it all gets a bit awful.

We had been consideing buying Chubs a fold out foam sofa, and we did today. The great thing was she was happy to sit in it! I spent some time sitting in it 'reading' and she's reasonably happy to sit there fore a few short books now. Yay!

We've also tried to clean Chubs' teeth before but without much success. It usually involved a lot of fussing, chewing on the toothbrush and non spitting, but I think she's finally got the hang of it.

I'm so excited about having bedtime stories now, so I thought I would share what we read on this blog. Feel free to leave your reading list in the comments too!

Bedtime books 22 June

Monday: The Biggest Bed in the World by Lindsay Camp, Wombat Stew by Marcia K Vaughan and Pamela Lofts, I Love My Mum by Anna Walker and Time for Bed by Mem Fox.
Tuesday: Dear Greenpeace, There's a Whale in Emily's Pond by Simon James, Sebastian Lives in a Hat by Thelma Catterwell and Kerry Argent and Time for Bed by Mem Fox (again...)
Wednesday: I Wish I Had a Pirate Suit by Pamela Allen, When Grandma Came by Jill Paton Welsh and Sophy Williams and Time for Bed yet again
Thursday: The Biggest Bed in the World again, There's a Whale in Emily's Pond again and Time for Bed again again again!


So our bedtime routine is clean teeth (something we've been trying to do for a while but she's just been crying; I don't think she knew what was going on.). After teeth it's stories on her new special chair, then off to bed for a feed. She falls asleep on our bed, then I move her to the cot. She stays there until about 11ish then comes into our bed for the rest of the night. Getting her to sleep in the first place had been a bit of a challenge for both of us, but we're all glad that we've found something that's working.

What bedtime books did you have at your house this week?

Dear Zoo and Dear Santa

My mother, Nanny Tops, gave Chubs Dear Zoo. Fondly remembered from my childhood, no one reads this tear-the-flap book as well as Nanny Tops does. It's animated and engaging and keeps you in suspense!

Christmas saw the arrival of Dear Santa as well, this time Daddy and I bought it in Sydney. This one is a board book so the flaps are fairing better.

Using the well proven 'So they sent me a ...' format we bounce, scare, mess up and make noise though this delightful 2004 book with another furry suprise at the end. I thought that you weren't supposed to give pets as presents, but apparently the zoo and Santa didn't get that memo.

These books are just right.

Hallows, swastikas and hope

The picture about was taken by a Guiding friend of mine who has a passion for collecting books where ever she goes. This is a 1923 book, and she showed me the photo as we were both interested in the right handed swastika, especially its use by the Guiding and Scouting movements.

In her autobiography, Window on my Heart, Lady Baden- Powell talks of being given a thanks badge by B-P when they met in 1912 on the SS Arcadian cruise ship.

He gave me a Scout 'Thanks Badge' in the form of a swastika with the Scout fleur-de-lys superimposed. The right- handed broken cross or swastika (so called from the Sanskrit word for 'well-being') was an ancient sign of good fortune that had appeared in many civilisiations as far back as the Bronze Age. Later, when the Nazis adopted the left-handed broken cross as their symbol and it became synonymous with evil and opression, the Scout Movement abandonded the use of the swastika as a Thanks Badge, but in 1912 it was still a symbol of good.'

I also saw many swastikas when I was travelling in India (with Girl Guides) in 2005. The right facing one which isn't rotated was often used in art, as Lady B-P described, as a Sanskrit symbol for wellness. Obviously Kipling's extensive links with India are very well know too - more so than his links to Scouting.

The parallel between the swastika and its use by the Nazis and JK Rowling's use of the Deathly Hallows symbol is obvious. Indeed, the links between the Potterverse and Nazis are many. I have recently finished reading and studying The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas and it has affected me in a way which no other book ever has, and in the few months since I have read it it has never been far from my thoughts.

I have thought that the swastika and the Hallows both show us that there are good things which can be manipulated and twisted and associated with the worst, horrorific things. I am even struggling to communicate what I am trying to say here. The unthinkable awfulness of it all - to have been created out of something so happy and innocent - is just that, unthinkable.

However, the good still remains. The terrible acts do not erase the good which happened before. They change it forever, yes, but they can't erase the goodness completely. The swastika for many people now is a symbol of evil and everything which is wrong in the world, and as said above, the way it is used has been changed forever (both in general and by the Scouting Movement and Kipling). However, the good still remains, if only a speck. If only in Lady B-P's girlish memory of being courted, in a 1923 edition of a stories for children, or in a necklace worn by Xeno Lovegood to the wedding of his friends - a speck of goodness remains.

When there is darkness and sadness, look for the speck of good. Even the most horrible and evil happenings have a speck somewhere. It doesn't mean that it's not evil and horrible, but I need to know that a speck of hope and goodness can be found. I need to know that. Everything I am tells me that that tiny speck is there, and I hold on to that though with all my might.

Op shop find!

We are very spoiled and have a Vinnies just around the corner from us. This Vinnies is amazing. I've long been an op shopper, but I've never seen a shop with the quality that this one has. It must be stocked from donation bins in rich suburbs.

Previously I have gotten barely worn Cue blouses for $8 (usually $70ish), a never worn pair of leather work shoes for $10 (would have been $80+ ), unworn Pumpkin Patch things for Chubs still with tags on and so many other things.

On Saturday I got everything here for Chubs for $7.50!

What's there:
- Pink Target footed tights and purple Bonds footed tights in good condition
- Unworn Bonds short sleeved t shirt
- Long sleeved Bonds shirt in good condition
- Pink Target cords in excellent condition
- Pink three quarter leggings in fair condition
- Fisher Price all-in-one swimsuit in fair condition
- Roald Dahl's Dirty Beasts and Pamela Allen's Alexander's Outing
- a board book (not pictured) and a soft bath book.

Pretty good for $7.50!

The prize for...

... this week's great baby idea is buggy books! I love love love buggy books - we've got a few. The thing that makes them so amazing - the clip! These stay attached to the stroller (or the car seat, or the bouncer frame, or the high chair tray...) which means we don't lose it when someone throws it away. Genius.

Chubs has a cloth Winnie the Pooh (A A Milne/ E H Shephard/ Disney) book which crinkles and can go in the washing machine - woot. She also has The Tiger Who Came to Tea by Judith Kerr which I remember from my childhood, too. Chubs is a little too young to appreciate the story about the forthright tiger with the insatiable appetite and little understanding of social convention and etiquette, but it is good for chewing on. See tooth marks for proof.

Origins

Yesterday I introduced you to my IRL and blogging friend, B. After reading B's commentary of when she re-read the Harry Potter books, I was reminded of something. B comments (when talking about Half Blood Prince)

All of the scenes where Harry and Dumbledore dive into the penseive are fascinating. So much more so when reading the books back to back because you are more amazed then. Rowling showing us young Riddle, making us understand where he comes from and why he is the 1/7-of-a-man that he is, is just a brilliant storytelling technique.

I certainly agree with her here about the storytelling, but also about the history and back story of Tom Riddle. In HBP especially, we get to learn the back story and the history which explains so much.


JK treats us to the other character's back stories, too. In my opinion, what we learn of Dumbledore's youth in Deathly Hallows ties for first place with the Riddle Pensieve scenes. For almost all of the series we are presented with Dumbledore as an ageless old man; it is quite impossible to imagine him in his youth, or even that he ever had one. Indeed, we only consider him as a middle aged man in Riddle's memory of The Aragog Incident in Chamber of Secrets, let alone as teenager looking forward to his gap year.


We also get to hear more of Lily's and Petunia's story although I wasn't as desperate to hear them as the others. Yes, they tied up some loose ends nicely (like the Dementors comment) but to be honest I always trusted JK to do that well. The backstory which was most revealing and exciting to me (after Voldemort and Dumbledore) was Snape.


My appetite for youthful recounts and prequels is not limited to the Potterverse. I relished in Hannibal Rising which also explained so much about our Chianti sipping dinner guest. X-Men Origins, Batman Begins and so many others explain why these iconic characters are who they are and I lap up every story, even when I wasn't a follower of the character before that. Of course, the most famous prequels of the last decade - The Phantom Menace, The Clone Wars and Revenge of the Sith also told us much about the back stories of so many iconic characters, although we did know a lot of that before and I must admit I didn't find the back stories as fascinating as I thought I would (even though many other aspects were phenomenal.) I would still love to learn about a teenaged Yoda, though.


I think my fascination with character's youths is related to the fact that as a high school teacher, I am forever teaching teenagers. Individuals graduate, pass through, go on to other things, have careers and children and lives, but I am perpetually part of 'those formative years'. To return to the beginning of my post, I think Dumbledore explained it best when Voldemort was seeking to teach at Hogwarts.

It is one of the irritating things about old teachers.
I am afraid they never quite forget their charge's youthful beginnings.

Saturday Snippets: Bloggy love

Today I would like to share with you two blogs from my IRL friends.




Entwined Happiness is brought to you by my friend Rachael. We've known each other since primary school and Girl Guides. She got the title for her blog from a love letter from her now hubby which I think is really sweet. Her blog has quite a selection of posts, from domestic adventures and renovations and craftings to her current challenge which is taking a photo a day.


Style from the Surburban Intellect is brought to you by B and Jane. B and Jane and I also go way back to fourteen-year-old misadventures, red hair dye and school drama productions. They started this blog so they would read all the unread books they had, but now I think about it, there hasn't been many posts about all the books they have read... In their place there is fashion, design, humour, travel, anecdotes and The Muppets. Oh, and we picked the same backgrounds for our blog, so we much be on the same page!



Pop on over and have a look!

The prize for...

...this week's beautiful book goes to Hello Baby by Jenni Overend. This charming story is illustrated by the celebrated Julie Vivas whose soft, warm watercolours also appear in books such as Possum Magic and Wilfred Gordon McDonald Partridge.



The picture book tells the story of Jack and his family. Jack and the others have been awaiting the day of the homebirth of his little brother or sister. The day finally arrives, and Jack and his sisters, father, aunt and the midwife help his mother through her labour, birth and the first few hours of the new baby's life.

This book isn't scary or ick, but is a beautiful, loving birth story. You certainly don't need to be a homebirth advocate to enjoy the miracle in this book. I first came across this book as a teenager when I was babysitting for a family. I was then and am now probably one of the least likely people to plan a homebirth, but even as a fourteen year old I could appreciate the warmth of this picture book.

As well as just being a lovely story in its own right, then book could also be used to initiate conversations about babies, birth, pregnancy and family changes. This book is full of warmth, closeness, cuddles, excitement and love - just like the birth it talks about.

The prize for...

... favourite book this week goes to The Biggest Bed in the World by Lindsay Camp and illustrated by Jonathan Langley.

This delightful picture book tells the story of how Ben likes to sleep in his Mum and Dad's bed. All is fine until his baby brother Billy arrives, then things get a bit cramped. When the twins, Beth and Bart, arrive they are followed soon after by the triplets Brittany, Bella and Boris, which leads Ben's dad to make a creative, althought not really structurally sound solution.

The book is so much fun to read with the delightful alliteration and Langley's illustrations capture perfectly what life with cosleeping little ones can look like. (Think of a jumbo bed in a too small room, with a smattering of toys around.) Ben's mum is featured frequently in the pictures but is never mentioned; however, this in no way detracts from the story. (I am however a bit worried about her apparantly hyperstimulated ovaries and super-fertility.)

I really feel that this book captures the feeling and atmosphere of a loving young family who enjoys each other's closeness. It has positive images of young children, cosleeping, breastfeeding, baby bottles and family life.

I asked my husband what he thought of the book when I read it to Chubs and him. I said 'what do you think about Ben's dad?' and he replied 'Poor bastard' with a look of understanding. This book is a must for any parents who have a child in the bed regularly or occasionally, and the kids will probably enjoy the story too!